You Don’t “Fall” Out of Love

Have you ever been feeling fine one minute and the next minute you feel anxious or worried or at least a little unsettled?

Does that happen to you? It does to me.

My feelings or mood can change in an instant without any apparent change in my circumstances. One moment I’m fine. The next moment I’m fed up with it all.

Peace gives way to worry.

Contentment turns to restlessness.

Joy fades and is replaced by gloom.

And this can all happen in just about the blink of an eye. But why? What can cause my feelings to change so quickly?

It’s my thoughts. My thoughts are what can change so quickly. And they have a wide-open, direct path to my feelings. Thoughts create feelings.

It’s easy to verify this. Just watch a scary movie. It’s late at night. The babysitter is alone in the house. She’s watching the news and learns a murderer has escaped from a nearby prison. Then the power goes out and she hears a noise. She quietly makes her way to the kitchen and discovers the door has blown open.

How are you feeling as you watch? Nervous? How would you feel if you were watching the movie while all alone…late at night…while babysitting? Anxious? Scared?

The movie is acting as a stimulus, which is producing a response of certain feelings in us.

Or is it?

The movie is the stimulus, but there’s a step in the process before we get to the feelings response. And that missing step is our thoughts about what we’re seeing on the screen.

As we watch, we begin to invest in the character. We wonder (think about) what will happen next? We start to anticipate the murderer showing up and breaking into the house. Our imagination (mind) starts to take over.

And those thoughts produce feelings of nervousness or fear.

Want your feelings to change? Just change your thoughts. Easier said than done, I know. But it is possible. It can be done. God wouldn’t give us a command like, “Do not be anxious about anything…” if it wasn’t somehow possible to obey it.

That passage in Philippians 4 goes on to say, “…but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” How do we deal with anxious feelings? We pray. We offer God our thanksgiving. We present our requests to Him. In other words, we believe God, know that what He says is true and then take action.

And then Paul writes, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Read the rest of the passage to see what else Paul says about thinking.

We can’t change our feelings unless we change our thoughts. And changing our thoughts isn’t very easy unless we also change our actions. And changing our actions will almost always require faith. We must believe God.

So how might this play out in marriage? Maybe for a husband who says, “I’ve fallen out of love with my wife. The spark is gone.”

What would you tell him?

Some people would suggest counseling. And that may be very helpful.

Some would jump to getting a divorce. You’re not happy? Get out. Get on with your life.

But what if the feelings are just a symptom? What if the real problem is a wrong thought? And what if the way to begin correcting the wrong thought is to believe God and start taking action by faith?

Ephesians 5:33 says, “…each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself…”

Do you think God is telling husbands to feel something? “Alright you guys, start feeling warm, affectionate feelings toward your wives!”

That wouldn’t really work, would it? Even if that’s what it meant, we’d still have to change our thoughts. If I told you to feel sad, you’d have to think sad thoughts. The same goes for feeling angry or scared or anxious. Again, thoughts produce feelings. So what needs to change is our thoughts. And those will change as we believe God and start to act in line with His word.

So what about the husband (or wife) who has fallen out of love?

If he’ll listen, he needs to know that he can fall back into love by starting to love his wife. Love is a verb. You do loving things and the feelings will follow along. Maybe not immediately, but they’ll come.

He can begin to serve her and sacrifice for her. He can put her needs before his own. He can engage her in conversation. He can take the initiative to meet her needs in the bedroom. He can cook dinner and clean the kitchen. He can prepare a hot bath for her while he helps the kids with their homework.

Will he feel like doing those things? Not at first. But we’re not talking about feelings, are we?

We’re talking about the verb, love. And verbs are action words. Run. Kick. Laugh. Climb. Tickle. Love. All actions.

Believe God and walk by faith. Begin to love and think differently. Change your thoughts. Stop thinking love is just a feeling that you’ve “fallen out of.” You didn’t fall out of love. You acted your way out of it.

You can act your way back in.

The Biggest Troublemaker

Who is causing you the most trouble right now?

Is it your boss? Unreasonable deadlines? Micromanaging? Lack of encouragement?

Is it a friend or roommate who’s acting selfishly?

Is it a family member? A child who won’t listen? A spouse who doesn’t understand?

So who is it? Right now, who in your life is causing you the most trouble?

I don’t know who it is for you, but I’ll tell you who it is in my life. It’s me. There’s no one else in my life who even comes close to causing me the problems and trouble that I do.

If there’s tension in a relationship, it’s because I chose to act selfishly or respond poorly. If there’s stress, it’s because I procrastinated or over-committed. If there’s debt, it’s because I bought something I shouldn’t have. If I have a migraine, it’s because I’ve chosen to worry myself into one.

And what’s at the root of my problem-causing?

I don’t believe God. It’s that simple. Rather than trusting Him, I assume I’m going to have to take care of myself because He’s not going to come through. Or I believe I know what’s better for me. So I do what I want. What will give me pleasure. Or make me happy. Or comfortable.

Maybe you can relate. Think about it…

No one else puts unhealthy food in your mouth. No one else makes you look at pornography. No one else turns on the TV and compels you to watch it instead of exercising. No one else stands over you until you’ve put in an hour on Facebook instead of reading your Bible. No one else forces you to make credit card purchases you can’t really afford.

You get to choose. And so do I. No one else.

That means that we have tremendous power to help ourselves…or hurt ourselves. And what I find is that when I make choices that don’t line up with God’s way of doing life, I hurt myself. I get into trouble. I dig myself a hole.

And for me, it all comes down to whether or not I will believe Him. Will I trust that He knows what is best for me? That He has my best in mind? That when He gives a command that it’s meant to protect me and provide for me?

Our problems aren’t caused by a lack of money or someone else treating us poorly or bad weather or the policeman who pulls us over for speeding. Our biggest problems are caused by us.

Again, we get to choose. That means we can’t ever say things like, “She just makes me so angry!”

She can’t MAKE you do anything. You get to CHOOSE how you will respond to whatever she does. You can choose to trust God in the heat of the moment. You can trust God to defend you so you don’t have to defend yourself. You can choose to trust God so you don’t say things that will make the situation worse.

But we won’t trust God if we don’t know Him. And we won’t know Him unless we commit to spend time with Him.

And we won’t even commit to spend time with Him if we continue to insist that the problem is someone or something else.

God, Have You Forgotten Me?

Has that ever been your prayer? Or have you ever at least wondered?

You might be in the midst of a second round of chemo, like my friend Jeff.

Or like one young man I heard about today…in less than a year–your dad dies, your mom dies and then the day before you leave for boot camp–your girlfriend breaks up with you.

Or despite doing everything you know to do, your marriage continues to get worse. Or your child continues to rebel. Or your boss is still a jerk.

Or your finances keep getting worse. Just when it seems like you’re about to get ahead, you get hit with an unexpected bill.

God, have You forgotten me? Can You not see what I’m going through here?

Where are You, God? And why aren’t You helping?

When circumstances are bad and they don’t seem to be improving and God isn’t saying much…it’s easy to lose hope, to wonder where He is and what He’s up to. It’s easy to doubt His love for us. It’s easy to doubt if He’s even good.

I’ve been there. I’ve doubted. I’ve wondered. I’ve been angry. I’ve been discouraged.

And I’ve lost hope.

Have you? Are you there now?

I wonder if Noah could relate.

Noah was a righteous man living among a lot of evil. He was trying to do the right thing and honor God when those around him weren’t.

And God saw. He knew what was going on. Check out the story in Genesis 6.

So Noah does what God says and builds an ark. And God does what He says He’ll do and He sends a flood, which Noah, his wife, his three sons and their wives ride out in the ark. Along with a bunch of animals. Read that part of the story in Genesis 7-8.

The flood began “in the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, on the seventeenth day of the second month…” And in the coming days, every creature that lived on dry ground is completely wiped out except for Noah, his family and the animals on the ark.

And “the waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days.”

It rained for forty days and nights, but the earth was totally flooded for five months before God sends a wind so that the waters will begin to recede.

I grew up near the ocean, but I can’t remember ever being so far out on a boat that I couldn’t see the shore. I’ve also never been on a cruise. Maybe you have. Maybe you’ve been out at sea and couldn’t see land.

Of course, a cruise ship and Noah’s ark couldn’t be more different. Noah’s boat was built to ensure the human race would survive a world-wide flood. It held a total of eight human beings, a whole bunch of animals and enough food to last until the flood was over. No staterooms. No dining rooms and endless buffets. No deck chairs. No casinos. No shore excursions.

Just Noah, his family and the animals. Alone on the earth. Surrounded by nothing but water. For five months. And we have no record of God communicating with them during that time. Nothing. Not one word.

The first word of chapter 8 is one of my absolute favorites in the Bible: But.

“But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.”

A couple verses later, it says, “The water receded steadily from the earth.”

After five months, the waters are finally beginning to recede. And “the waters continued to recede until the tenth month, and on the first day of the tenth month the tops of the mountains became visible.”

Seven and a half months after the flood began, the tops of the mountains are now visible. Moses waits another forty days and sends out a raven and a dove. The raven kept flying back and forth. The dove looks for dry ground, but can’t find it so it returns to Noah. After a week passes, Noah sends the dove out again. This time the dove returns with a freshly plucked olive leaf in its beak, so Noah knew the water was receding.

After another week, Noah sends the dove out again. This time it doesn’t return.

“By the first day of the first month of Noah’s six hundred and first year, the water had dried up from the earth. Noah then removed the covering from the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry. By the twenty-seventh day of the second month the earth was completely dry.”

In Noah’s six hundredth and first year on the twenty-seventh day of the second month the earth was completely dry. He and his family had been on the ark for one year, one month and ten days.

As I read this story today, here’s what jumped out at me…

The waters receded slowly.

Once the rain stopped, God didn’t zap away all the water. He sent a wind. That’s it. No zapping. No wand-waving. No miracles.

Just a wind. And then a lot of waiting.

Oh, and remembering. God always remembered Noah and his family and the animals.

He never forgot them.

Just like He never forgets you.

Maybe you’ve been enduring a 13-month trial of your own. Or maybe a 23-month trial. Or 33 months. Or longer.

God hasn’t forgotten though. There might still be a miracle coming, but there might just be a slow-receding.

Little by little the waters of difficulties and pain and confusion are receding. It might feel so slow that you don’t even notice. You will though. One day, you’ll notice the dove will return with an olive leaf. And not long after, the dove won’t return at all.

The waters will have receded. You’ll see dry ground again.

Until then, remember that God remembers. He never, ever forgets you.

God Lets Us Choose

I’ve been really intrigued by the Christmas story this year. Read Matthew 2, then I’ll share a couple things that jumped off the page at me…

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:

“‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.’”

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”

So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”

When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:

“A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more.”

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.”

So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: “He will be called a Nazarene.”

So two things stand out to me…

First, since Matthew is writing to a Jewish audience, he is careful to mention how various events are fulfilling Old Testament prophecies concerning Jesus. He’s making clear that everything God said would happen is now coming to pass. It’s a great reminder that God is faithful and in control. He can always be counted on to do what He says He’ll do.

The second thing I noticed is how God handles a death threat against His Son. Wouldn’t you think God would just kill Herod when He learns he has plans to kill Jesus? After all, God has all power and authority. All. Power. And. Authority. No one can oppose Him. Why not just kill Herod?

And yet, rather than taking out Herod, He has an angel warn Joseph to take Mary and Jesus and flee to Egypt. Doesn’t that seem like the hard way to do it? I mean, Herod is an evil monster. Just take him out. Why make Mary and Joseph escape to Egypt to save Jesus? Do you think they may have wondered the same thing?

That’s just not God’s way, is it? Sure, God answers prayers, performs miracles and intervenes in human affairs, but God also seems very content to let things play out. He doesn’t usually override human decisions. He lets us choose. We get to decide whether we’ll live according to His ways or our own. God doesn’t force us to do things His way.

God’s wisdom and guidance are always available to us, but we don’t have to listen. Herod didn’t. And God didn’t change his mind. He doesn’t overrule our choices either.

The choices we make have an impact on others. And their choices have an impact on us. Sometimes it’s a good impact. Sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it’s very bad.

I know we want God to just zap our enemies and make all of our circumstances pleasant ones. At least I do. But that’s not how He usually works. More often than not, it seems that He lets choices–good ones and bad ones–just play out. And then He gives us the wisdom and strength to navigate whatever comes our way.

In the midst of it all, God invites us to seek Him and walk according to His ways. He invites us to experience His love and love Him in return.

He wants a genuine friendship with us. It’s what He’s always wanted. And that requires that we have a choice.

God’s Timing

Waiting is one of the hardest aspects of walking with God. And since God never seems to be in a hurry, waiting is something we should not only get used to, but learn to embrace.

I won’t suggest I enjoy waiting. I don’t. But I do know it can be a rich, productive season, whether it lasts a day, a year or 40 years, like it did for Moses.

I have a friend who will undergo tests today in Houston to see if he is still cancer free. He had major surgery earlier this year to remove cancerous areas from his colon and liver. He’ll learn the results of the tests on Wednesday. Tonight and tomorrow will be a season of waiting. Two nights might not seem like a long time, but try waiting that long to find out if your cancer has returned.

Maybe you’ve also waited for test results. Or the return phone call after an interview. Or maybe you’ve waited for a spouse or a baby. I have two daughters who are married to men in the military. Each have had to wait for their husbands to return home.

It could be that you’re in a set of circumstances you’d rather not be in. You’re unemployed. You’re in a financial mess. Your marriage is falling apart. Your child continues to live in rebellion. Or you’re sick and the doctor can’t figure it out.

And you’ve prayed. You’ve cried out to God. And you’ve waited. And waited. And waited.

And you’ve wondered where God is and what He’s doing.

I’ve been there. It’s frustrating. It’s discouraging. It’s confusing.

Or, if we let it, the waiting can be a time of growth and greater intimacy with God. It can be a season that prepares us for what’s to come. Greater responsibility? Greater fruitfulness? Greater influence? Only God knows.

In Acts 7, Stephen is speaking before the Sanhedrin (a Jewish court):

²³ “When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit his fellow Israelites. ²⁴ He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. ²⁵ Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not. ²⁶ The next day Moses came upon two Israelites who were fighting. He tried to reconcile them by saying, ‘Men, you are brothers; why do you want to hurt each other?’

²⁷ “But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, ‘Who made you ruler and judge over us? ²⁸ Do you want to kill me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?’ ²⁹ When Moses heard this, he fled to Midian, where he settled as a foreigner and had two sons.

³⁰ “After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai. ³¹ When he saw this, he was amazed at the sight. As he went over to look more closely, he heard the Lord’s voice: ³² ‘I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’ Moses trembled with fear and did not dare to look.

³³ “Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals; the place where you are standing is holy ground. ³⁴ I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.’

³⁵ “This is the same Moses whom they had rejected with the words, ‘Who made you ruler and judge?’ He was sent to be their ruler and deliverer by God himself, through the angel who appeared to him in the bush. ³⁶ He led them out of Egypt and did wonders and miraculous signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea and for forty years in the desert.

When Moses was 40 years old, he decided to visit his fellow Israelites. He thought they would see him as the one to rescue them from the Egyptians. And then he commits murder. He decided. He thought. He killed. God wasn’t in it.

Clearly, this was not God’s timing or God’s ways. And so Moses flees. For 40 years. Until it’s God’s timing for him to return to Egypt and do things God’s way.

Look what happens though when it is God’s timing. The very same Moses they rejected is later sent back to them as the one God would use to deliver them from the hands of the Egyptians. Moses had the right idea–his timing was just off.

During your season of waiting, God will continue to work. You may not always see it, but He will never stop working. He will be working to mature you, to give you wisdom, to teach you His ways and to prepare you for what’s to come. He will be at work in your circumstances and in the lives of others.

When you lose sight of God, remember this: no matter what is happening, God will always be at work so you will know Him better and trust Him more. He will always be working for your good and His glory.

Maybe you have a dream or a desire–something you really believe God has put on your heart. But nothing is happening. There’s no forward progress. No end in sight to your current circumstances. God doesn’t seem to be cooperating.

As hard as this will be, let me encourage you to relax. Seek God with all your heart. Trust Him. Do everything He commands. And wait patiently.

His timing and His ways will always be best.

Is God In Your Way?

One of the benefits of reading and studying the Old Testament is gaining an understanding of how God has worked in history. Put another way–we get to see what God is up to. We grasp the big picture. And that’s always helpful for me when I seem to get lost in either the details of life or the details of a particular passage of Scripture.

So what is God up to?

Well, He’s up to you and me.

He created us to live in friendship with Him. For reasons beyond my understanding, God loves us. The Person who spoke and the universe came into existence desires us. He wants us.

The eternal Creator of everything is crazy about you. He’s crazy about me. You and I actually matter to Him. Don’t miss that. It may be the single most amazing truth there is. You matter to God.

God isn’t far away and unconcerned. He hasn’t forgotten you. He isn’t too busy.

He’s close. He’s concerned. And He’s crazy in love with you.

Maybe the big picture story of the Old Testament is simply this:

There is a God who’s head over heels in love with us and gets jealous when we give our love to the world instead of Him. And so He lovingly and graciously opposes us when we turn away from Him.

That’s the message we find in James 4:6…

But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

We’re proud when we live life on our own terms, when we choose to go our own way. God clearly sets out a way for us to live and relate to Him. When we choose to do things our own way, He lovingly opposes us.

Are you experiencing God’s opposition today? Is He standing in your way to oppose you?

Is it possible to even know if God is opposing us?

When our goals are blocked we get frustrated, don’t we? We want something, but don’t get it. We desire something, but can’t have it. And so we feel frustrated. Left unchecked, frustration easily becomes anger or depression or both.

If you’re feeling angry or depressed, maybe it’s because your goal or desire is being blocked. By God. Because it’s not something He wants for you. It’s something you want for you, but He knows it’s not good or best. And so He very lovingly and graciously and patiently opposes you. He gets in your way.

Until you turn around and go His way.

The next verse in James says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

Maybe those frustrating circumstances or conflict-filled relationships are the result of going your own way. The answer? Submit to God. Turn back to Him. Surrender it all to Him.

And remember, “He gives us more grace.”

He will always give us the grace and the power to do whatever He calls us to do. He never gives a command without also giving the ability to carry it out.

Now I’m not suggesting that every difficulty we face is the result of God opposing us. Just as Satan is not behind every bad thing that happens. We live in a badly broken world. Bad stuff happens. Other people can do things to really wound us through no fault of our own.

Sometimes though, those long-lasting, frustrating circumstances are the result of our wrong choices. Remember the big picture–God created you for Himself. He’ll never be content with sharing you. He wants your complete devotion. He wants to be the object of your deepest desires. And He gets jealous when He’s not.

So rather than let us wander off in the wrong direction and get ourselves into even more trouble–He opposes us. For our own good. So we’ll turn back to Him.

Where are you at today? Frustrated? Angry? Discouraged? Even depressed?

Maybe the most powerful prayer you could pray is simply, “Lord, thank you for opposing me. I submit.”

Does God Want Us to Fail?

Before you answer, let’s look at some of the definitions from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

• to lose strength: weaken <her health was failing>
• to fade or die away <until our family line fails>
• to stop functioning normally <the patient’s heart failed>
• to fall short <failed in his duty>
• to be unsuccessful <the marriage failed>
• to become bankrupt or insolvent

I’m going with the answer, “yes,” God wants us to fail. Based on the definitions above, here’s why:

God wants us to lose strength and understand we’re weak, so that we’ll also learn we “…can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) If we insist on trying to follow Jesus in our own strength, God will let us fail. He’s not in the business of blessing our plans, but He will give us strength to do whatever He calls us to do.

God wants us, our natural selves, to die. He said, “And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27) Life is not about achieving our goals, accumulating wealth and having a good time. It’s about pursuing God’s goals, storing up treasure in heaven and experiencing the love, joy and peace of God.

God wants us to stop functioning normally, so we can start functioning supernaturally. Paul wrote to the church in Rome:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)

Do you want to know God’s good, perfect and pleasing will for your life? It’s the result of offering yourself to Him and no longer “functioning normally” as the world does. We must choose to no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but to instead be transformed by the renewing of our minds. In other words, we must learn to think like God. That comes from having our minds saturated with His word.

God wants us to understand we’ve already fallen short of his holy standard. We chose to live life on our terms, not His. We went our own way. We rebelled against the sovereign King of the universe. Paul said, “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) Our only recourse is to accept the forgiveness that Christ offers.

God wants us to be unsuccessful whenever we choose to pursue our own plans. It’s always good to remember that it’s not about you. It’s not about me. My goals and plans and dreams aren’t relevant…unless they’re ones God has given me. Only then does He want me to be successful. Even that is conditional though–God wants me to be successful in achieving His goals in His strength and in His ways. Not my goals. Not my strength. Not my ways.

God wants me to know I’m spiritually bankrupt. Jesus said, “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” (Matthew 5:3 NLT) The poor Jesus is referring to are the ones who realize their need for Him, not simply those who lack financial resources. We are bankrupt. We’re broke. We’re totally dependent on God for everything.

Are you experiencing a season of failure? Things just aren’t working out? Can’t catch a break?

Maybe God is allowing you to fail. Not to punish you or humiliate you, but to teach you and to bless you. He knows true life is found only in Him. Not in money. Not in a career. Not in sex. Not in a relationship.

In Him alone.

So why would He grant success in the pursuits that only move us away from finding our life in Him?

Failure isn’t permanent or terminal. Failure is a stepping stone to greater intimacy with God and greater fruitfulness in His kingdom.

The writer of Hebrews said, “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.” (Hebrews 12:7)

Your current failure or hardship is God treating you as His child, a child He loves deeply and for whom He only desires the very best. Seek Him. Get to know Him better. Trust Him.

Ultimately, He wants you to be successful in everything He calls you to do. And He will always provide the strength and wisdom you need to accomplish His will.

Where’s God When You Need Him?

I just finished reading through the Old Testament books of Judges and Ruth. They both take place during the same time period in Israel’s history.

In Judges, we get a look at all of the various people who led Israel during the time from about 1382 to 1043 BC, including Deborah, Gideon and Samson. These were dark times in Israel’s history as they continually turned their backs on God and experienced His rebuke.

In Ruth, we’re introduced to one family and all of the pain, confusion and hardship they endured. It’s a powerful story with a great twist at the end. Be sure to read it–it’s only four chapters.

What strikes me as I read about the lives of these men and women is that their stories are always being played out in the context of a much bigger story. And that’s true with you and me also.

There’s God’s story and there’s our story, which is also part of God’s story. Your story and my story are sub-plots. We’re not the main story. God is.

In Ruth’s case, she lived in the country of Moab–just east of Israel. Because of a famine in Bethlehem, a man named Elimelech left there and went to live in Moab with his wife Naomi and their two sons. Eventually, Elimelech dies and the two sons marry Moabite women. Ruth is one of these two women.

About ten years after leaving Bethlehem, both of the sons die also. That’s when Naomi gets word that the famine in Bethlehem has ended, so she decides to go home. Ruth insists on going with her so these two widows set out for Bethlehem.

In a period of ten years, Naomi has gone from living in the Promised Land, being married and being the mother of two sons to living in a foreign country, losing a husband, losing both sons and now returning home unhappy, unfulfilled and feeling bitter about life.

How do we know she feels this way? When she arrives in Bethlehem, she tells people not to call her Naomi, but to call her Mara, which means “bitter.”

It would be hard to blame her, right? It’s been a pretty rough ten years. There had to be many times on that road back to Bethlehem that she thought, “Where’s God when you need Him?”

Have you ever felt that way?

I have. Lots of times. I’ve been angry, confused and bitter. I’ve wondered where God was and why He wasn’t helping. You might feel that way today.

Your marriage is in trouble.

Your child won’t listen to you.

You just lost your job or your house or both.

You desperately want a child, but can’t get pregnant and it doesn’t help that the unmarried teenage girl can.

The diagnosis came back. It’s not good and not what you expected.

So where’s God when we need Him?

Let’s step back into the lives of Naomi and Ruth again and see what we learn…

Once back in Bethlehem, Ruth meets a close relative of Naomi’s deceased husband. This man, named Boaz, has the right to purchase the property owned by Naomi’s husband and sons, which he does. And part of the deal is that Ruth becomes his wife.

God is working out His bigger story, but He’s also caring for Naomi and Ruth.

Eventually, Boaz and Ruth have a son, named Obed. When he is grown, Obed and his wife give birth to a son, named Jesse. Years later, Jesse becomes the father of David. King David.

And about a thousand years later, Jesus, the Savior of the world, is born in the line of King David.

Naomi couldn’t have known that was going to happen. Neither did Ruth. God knew though. He was always working in history to bring about His bigger story, His master plan to save the world.

Do you know how your present difficulties may be used by God one day? No, but He does. He sees your pain and suffering and none of it will be wasted. As you trust Him and persevere, He is conforming you to His image and using your circumstances to advance His kingdom.

No, you can’t see it, but He can. Just keep believing Him.

He’s not just the God of the big story, He’s the God of your story. He has a good plan for you. His love for you will never fail. When you seek Him, you will find Him.

Naomi felt bitter because she thought God was against her. I get that. I’ve felt that way. It’s just not true though. God is never against us. He’s always for us. We just need to remember there’s always a bigger story being played out. And we have a part in it. Our current, painful, confusing circumstances are part of God’s bigger story.

We don’t have to become bitter. That happens when we focus only on what we see and feel. Genuine joy and peace are ours when we choose to keep our eyes on God and trust that He is good and that He is working things out for our good and His ultimate glory.

Where is God when we need Him?

He’s here with us. He can be trusted, even when all hell is breaking loose. He is not the cause of your pain or difficulties, but He can use them to accomplish His purposes in your life and in the bigger story.

Our part is to walk faithfully with Him and not give up. Naomi and Ruth could have given up. On life and on God. But they didn’t.

In the closing scene of Ruth, we see Naomi holding Obed in her lap, caring for him. There’s no way she could have known she was holding the grandfather of King David.

God has a good plan for you. Keep trusting Him. Keep seeking Him. Keep obeying Him. You cannot possibly imagine all the good He’s going to do for you and through you, if only you will keep walking with Him.

How Much of What You Think About is True?

I was just doing a little research today to see how many thoughts the average person has each day. Opinions vary widely. One source said 2,400. Another said 55,000 and another 70,000. Interestingly, the article that said 2,400 also said that world-class athletes have less thoughts, which leads to greater focus. Or would it be greater focus leads to less thoughts?

My point though is that whether the number is 2,400 or 70,000 or somewhere in between, you and I do a lot of thinking.

So how much of what you think about is actually true? A related question, and just as important, is this: how much of what you think about do you think is true?

Let’s start with the last question.

I’m going to say that you and I tend to believe that most of what we think about is actually true. Whether it is or not. We just assume that most of our thoughts are right ones. If we knew them to be false, we wouldn’t keep thinking them, would we?

For example…

We think God is disappointed with us. He’s not, but we think He is, so we keep thinking it and then don’t feel right about approaching Him.

A young woman thinks if she has sex with her boyfriend, he’ll be more committed to her. Of course, it didn’t work with the last boyfriend or the one before that, but that doesn’t stop her from thinking it. More likely, the opposite is true.

A football player keeps thinking about the mistakes he could make that would cost his team the game. His confidence suffers and so does his performance.

A guy thinks that looking at pornography is harmless fun, but doesn’t realize he’s falling into a trap that will soon become an addiction. If he knew he’d soon be addicted, he might not be so quick to do it.

Or maybe it’s just all the subtle little thoughts we hardly pay attention to any more because we’ve completely convinced ourselves they’re true: I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty. I’m not smart. I always fail. I’ll never change. God won’t come through for me. I’ll never make it.

You get the point. We tend to think that most of our thoughts are true. That’s why we keep thinking them and giving them more power over us.

Our thoughts are the catalyst behind our emotions. I just don’t suddenly feel anxious–my thoughts cause that feeling. Fear or worry don’t just appear from nowhere–I give birth to them by what I think about, by what I believe is true.

Don’t believe everything you think. If even just 10% of our 2,400 thoughts are wrong, that means in any given day, we have 240 wrong thoughts. That’s not so bad if you thought it was going to be sunny, but it rained instead or you thought the Cowboys would win, but they lost.

The problem comes when we consistently have wrong thoughts about God, about ourselves, about others and about this life. From my own experience, the more I dwell on a wrong thought about God or myself, the stronger it becomes. It begins to exert more power and control over me.

Of course, the opposite can also be true. As I think about and believe the truth about God and myself, I begin to experience more of the life God intends for me. I experience more peace and less worry.

So how do we know which thoughts are true and which aren’t?

Ultimately, our only hope is in God’s word. There is no other reliable source of truth. Now of course if you think the rash on your arm is skin cancer, then the wise thing to do would be to see a doctor. Let her examine you and tell you the truth.

But most of our thoughts don’t need to be tested by a doctor. They need to be tested by God.

So how do we practically do that?

In yesterday’s post, I talked about developing a relationship with the Holy Spirit. That’s step one. There’s no substitute for having God Himself living inside us revealing truth to us. The Holy Spirit is our teacher, counselor and helper. He will never leave us or fail us. You can always trust Him to reveal the truth about you, God and this life.

The Bible is unlike any other book that will ever be written, because the Author Himself lives inside everyone who has placed their faith in Christ. There are many good Christian books, but those authors aren’t present with us as we read. And their words are not without error. We must allow God’s word to fill our minds and change how we think.

The Holy Spirit and the Word of God are a powerful combination. As you invest time reading the Bible, the Holy Spirit can speak to you and teach you and counsel you. He can cause a verse to jump off the page. He can guide you to promises He has for you. He alone can renew your mind. He can reveal wrong thought patterns you’ve held onto for years and replace them with truth.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4-9)

We can’t present our requests to God and then go right back to our wrong thoughts. We can’t just let our minds dwell on whatever they want to. We present our requests and then actively think about truth. We ask the Holy Spirit for His help. We spend time in God’s word to counteract the wrong way of thinking we’re bombarded with from the world each day.

Why not begin to question some of what you think about. Even those thoughts you’ve had for a long time. Those might be the ones that are giving you the most trouble.

The Holy Spirit. The Word of God. And choosing to think about the truth. It’s the only way.

The Holy Spirit

In Luke 11, Jesus’ disciples ask Him to teach them how to pray. After He models a prayer for them, He goes on to say:

“Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’

“Then the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

If you’re like me, you gravitate to the “ask and it will be given to you” part. Not even the seeking and knocking parts. Just the asking and receiving part.

Is that where you go too?

What’s really catching my attention today though is the very last thing Jesus said, “…how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Sure seems like Jesus is more excited about us asking for the Holy Spirit than anything else. Does that excite you though? I mean, would you rather have a financial breakthrough or the Holy Spirit? Would you rather experience physical healing or experience the Holy Spirit?

I’ll be honest, if I have a financial need or I’m  sick…I think I know what I want. Are you with me?

Fortunately, Jesus isn’t forcing us into a corner and making us choose. He doesn’t say it’s an either/or proposition. We can ask for financial help and also ask for the Holy Spirit. If we need healing, we can ask for that and ask for the Holy Spirit.

I know for some of us, the Holy Spirit is a bit of a mystery. Sure, we know He’s God, but it’s a little hard to relate to Him, right? Even if our earthly father wasn’t very good (thankfully mine was), we all know what it’s like to have a father, so we can relate to God the Father. And Jesus, God the Son, was human just like us. We can understand relating to another person.

But the Holy Spirit? It can be a little harder to understand Him. And yet Jesus had a lot to say about Him in John 14-16. Maybe it would be worth spending some time there.

Now here’s the really good news. If you’ve placed your faith in Christ, you don’t have to ask for the Holy Spirit. You already have Him. He’s living in you right now.

So rather than asking the Father to give us the Holy Spirit, maybe our prayer needs to be, “Holy Spirit, I give myself to you. All of me. Wholeheartedly. I hold nothing back.”

It’s really the only path to experiencing the full, abundant life God has for us. It doesn’t come through self-effort or hard work or manipulation. It comes through full and complete surrender to a person, to the Holy Spirit.

What’s stopping you from giving yourself to Him right now?