Does God Treat Everyone the Same?

Does He? Does God treat everyone the same?

He loves everyone. He gives grace to everyone. But does He treat everyone alike?

The answer is “no.” God treats us differently.

If you read John 11, you’ll see that Mary and Martha each said the same thing to Jesus, but His response to them was very different. And think about how differently Jesus spoke to the Pharisees as opposed to the woman caught in adultery.

And then in Luke 1, we read about a couple of encounters with the angel, Gabriel. First, Gabriel shows up in the temple when Zechariah the priest is burning incense. Gabriel tells him his prayers have been heard and that his wife Elizabeth will give birth to a baby.

Because she is an old woman at this point and has never been able to conceive, Zechariah asks, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”

That’s a reasonable question, right? You’re an old man and you’re married to a wife who is “well along in years.” You’d want to know how this was going to happen, how you could be sure. After all, you wouldn’t want to run outside and start telling everyone without having some assurance. How many times over the years had Elizabeth gotten her hopes up only to be disappointed again? There’s no way you’d want to do that to her.

Gabriel responds by saying, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time.”

Zechariah gives him some assurance, but there were consequences to his unbelief.

And then there’s Mary (not the sister of Martha, but the mother of Jesus). Gabriel comes and speaks to her as well. He tells her that even though she’s a virgin, she’s going to have a baby. Quite naturally, Mary wants to know how this is going to happen.

So Gabriel responds, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

That’s interesting to me. Zechariah asks a question and he can’t speak. Mary asks a question and Gabriel explains things to her. Why does God treat them differently?

Could it be that more was required of Zechariah?

He was a priest. Presumably, he had walked with and served God for many years. Mary, on the other hand, was a teenage virgin with a heart for God.

When Gabriel responds to Zechariah’s question, he begins with, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God…”

Standing in God’s presence. That’s powerful enough, but isn’t that also what a priest does when he ministers? Zechariah was in the temple burning incense in God’s presence.

I don’t want to read too much into this, but I can’t help thinking the bar was set higher for Zechariah. He was a priest. He’d been trained. He had opportunities for learning and study that Mary didn’t have. He ministered in God’s presence.

How about you and me?

If you’re reading this post, it means you have a computer and internet access. That means you have the Bible, in just about any translation you prefer, right at your finger tips. It means you can click over to iTunes and listen to great podcasts from Bible teachers like Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Francis Chan, Charles Stanely, Tim Keller, etc.

To those who have been given much, much will be required.

We’re much more like Zechariah than we are Mary…and much will be required of us.

Who’s Ready to Throw the First Stone?

I’ve been a fan of Penn State and Joe Paterno ever since my cousin played football there in the mid-70′s. So I’m particularly grieved and saddened by the news that Jerry Sandusky, a long-time assistant coach, was sexually assaulting young boys over a period of many years.

I read the grand jury presentment last week–what those boys had to endure was awful, especially coming from a powerful male figure they trusted. I have a very dear friend who has suffered from sexual abuse, so I’ve seen how painful it can be.

Obviously, Jerry Sandusky is a sick man. And he will pay for his crimes. I don’t know this, but I suspect that what he did to those boys was done to him as a child. It doesn’t excuse his behavior by any means, but it may give us some context for it.

Sadly, Penn State officials, including Coach Paterno, knew of Sandusky’s actions, but nothing was ever done and Sandusky continued to enjoy access to Penn State facilities for years. It appears that the Penn State football brand was given higher value than the young victims who were suffering Sandusky’s abuse.

What happened at Penn State is terrible. Sexual assault. What appears to be a cover-up. And for sure there were misplaced priorities and a group of men who were morally weak and passive.

And yet, I hesitate to pile on and point my finger. Maybe what you and I have done doesn’t compare to what Sandusky did, but our sin was still heinous enough to put Jesus on a cross. If our sin was made public, we’d all be humiliated.

I would have been outraged had I witnessed Sandusky sexually assaulting a young boy and I believe I would have taken action to stop him. But what if I wasn’t an actual eye-witness? What if I only learned about it later? Would I speak up? What if it was made clear I’d be risking my career? I want to believe I’d do the right thing, but I haven’t always done the right thing in the past. Have you?

Am I offering excuses or suggesting we go easy on Jerry Sandusky and the men who turned a blind eye to it all? No, there are consequences to our actions. The university president, Graham Spanier and Coach Paterno have already been fired. Others have already lost their jobs and been indicted. And if found guilty, Sandusky will likely spend the rest of his life in prison. As he should.

I believe anger, grief and disappointment are all appropriate emotions to feel in this situation, but for me, so are humility and compassion. I just know my own heart. I know where I’ve failed…and continue to. There are several reminders for me that come from this terrible situation…

• Sin devastates and destroys everything in its path. When I choose to live independently of God and ignore His ways–there are always consequences. Some are easily recognized and some are hidden…for a time. But make no mistake about it–I will eventually reap what I sow (Galatians 6:9).
• My only hope is to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. I do not have the power within myself to consistently do the right thing. I need God’s power. Romans 8 and Galatians 5 make this clear.
• We are all in desperate need of grace and forgiveness. From God and each other. The officials at Penn State need it. I do. You do. So does Jerry Sandusky. In John 8, we read:

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

What Are Your Emotions Telling You?

Last month, my son and I went to a NASCAR race in Kansas City. On our way back home, we stopped to get some dinner. After leaving the restaurant, I was accelerating to get back onto the highway, when I felt my car hesitate. It had been doing that for a couple of weeks, but it was worse this time. And that’s when the “Service Engine Soon” light came on.

Something was going on underneath the hood that needed to be checked out. Something was wrong and the light was warning me about it.

I’m glad cars come with warning lights. They save us from ignoring or even being unaware of problems that could become very expensive to fix.

I think you and I have some warning lights as well. And when they illuminate, they’re letting us know that something’s wrong, that something needs to be checked out “underneath the hood.”

Those warning lights are our emotions.

I think I’ve had one lit up for a week or two now.

There was a day last week when I just felt annoyed. A bunch of little things were piling up and really starting to bother me. And I was starting to voice my frustrations.

Today, I’ve had trouble identifying just what it is I’m feeling. At first, I thought it was boredom. Then I wondered if I was just feeling stale. Although, I’m not really sure what “stale” should feel like. As I’ve thought about it some more, I think what I’m feeling is depleted. One dictionary defines “depleted” this way:

To decrease the fullness of; use up or empty out.

I don’t feel like I’m on empty, but my fullness has definitely been decreased.

Years ago, I read a book about a pastor who was very diligent in tracking two areas of his life: his workouts and his time with the Lord. He reasoned that if he was taking care of himself spiritually and physically then he would be okay. So he was completely caught off guard one day when he broke down in tears while sitting in his office.

He checked his spiritual and emotional “gauges” and they were both telling him everything was fine. So what was wrong?

There was another area of his life he’d failed to take care of and the breakdown in his office was the warning light. That area was his emotional health.

As he looked back at his schedule, he saw that he was involved in some very intensive activities that were depleting his emotional reserves. His activities were good ones, but they were running down his emotional battery and leaving him with little in reserve. Reading the Bible and exercising were not enough. He needed time to emotionally recharge as well.

How about you? What are your emotions telling you today? Is there a warning light that’s lit up?

Maybe it’s just a little annoyance or frustration like I was feeling last week. Or maybe it’s bigger like anger or discouragement or fear or anxiety.

If you’re not spending time in God’s word and taking care of yourself physically (exercise, eating well and getting enough sleep), then I’d start there. But let’s not ignore the need to also recharge emotionally.

For some of us, that might mean getting together with friends or taking a walk after work. Maybe it’s taking time to paint or go to a movie or read a book.

It’s tempting to think we should just maintain our hectic pace. Just keep going. Keep putting out. The problem comes when we’re depleted. When there’s nothing left to give.

When we get to that place, we’re not helping anyone, including ourselves, if we just keep pushing.

Is there a warning light on in your life?

If there is, what do you need to do about it?

Marriage God’s Way

Some random thoughts on marriage from James 3:13-4:7….

Unmet or conflicting desires can lead to fighting. When you put your own wants and desires before your spouse’s, there will inevitably be conflict.

The world’s plan is to put our own needs before our spouse’s needs. James 3:13-18, tells us this will be characterized by envy and selfish ambition. The result is “disorder and every evil practice.”

Patterns of living according to the world’s ways can run deep. What we learned as children from our parents can be very, very tough to unlearn or overcome. Continuing to live according to the world’s plans as an adult will only lead to a very unhealthy and ultimately unsuccessful marriage.

When I spend little time seeking God by reading His word and talking with Him, I will naturally follow the world’s plan for my life. I will pursue my plans, my goals and my desires. James 4:4 compares this type of living to committing adultery against God. When I choose to be a friend of the world, I become an enemy of God. And you never want to have God as your enemy.

Anger and/or depression may be a signal of a wrong or blocked desire or goal. Sometimes it’s a legitimate desire being blocked by a sinful spouse. Sometimes it’s an illegitimate desire being blocked by God. James 4:6 says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Yes, God opposes us when we choose to do things our own way and live according to our own plans and desires. Going our own way is the essence of pride.

Pride is what led to Satan’s rebellion against God. It is what leads to “disorder and every evil practice.” The only solution is found in James 4:7, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” We will either submit to God and resist the devil or submit to the devil and resist God.

There are four types of marriages:

The husband has submitted to God and the wife has submitted to God. This relationship is characterized by putting the other’s needs first. The atmosphere of the marriage will be pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. It doesn’t mean everything will always be smooth and free of conflict, but it does mean God is present, at work in both people and the ultimate goal is to please God and advance His kingdom. Together.

The husband has not submitted to God and the wife has not submitted to God. In this relationship, both husband and wife are striving to get their needs met first. This type of relationship is “earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.” There will be envy and selfish ambition, resulting in “disorder and every evil practice.” Does it mean there will never be moments of happiness? No, but this type of marriage will always fall short of God’s intended design, because it’s based on worldly, not godly principles. And most likely, this marriage will fail to last.

The husband has submitted to God, but the wife has not submitted to God. This is a marriage being lived out under conflicting worldviews. The husband is putting God before himself, but the wife is putting herself before God. The husband will most likely feel frustrated by having certain desires, and even needs, go unmet. As far as experiencing all that God intends for them both individually and as a couple, it’s like having a 6-cylinder car that’s only firing on three cylinders. It’ll run, but it’s a slow, rough ride and not very enjoyable.

The husband has not submitted to God, but the wife has submitted to God. Same situation as above, but because the husband is charged with providing leadership in the family and is not, the long-term consequences are worse in this situation. It’s not just the marriage that’s effected, but the children and successive generations.

Sadly, when one spouse chooses to not submit to God, it makes life much more difficult for the spouse who has chosen to live according to God’s ways. The sin of the prideful spouse infects the entire marriage.

Not living in submission to God doesn’t always have to look like active rebellion. It can also manifest as passive indifference. One spouse may be trying to walk obediently with God, but still be indifferent to a spouse’s needs. He or she may not even be aware of this until it is pointed out. Once it’s pointed out though, it becomes sinful to not lovingly meet the legitimate needs of the other.

The more opposite you are from your spouse the more awkward it will feel to express love in the way your spouse can receive it. And if you are not living in submission to God, then you will have little desire and no power to choose to love your spouse.

For example, if a wife is task-oriented, detailed and organized–she may feel more loved by a husband who comes home on time, balances the checkbook to the penny and takes out the garbage on time. If he ignores those things and instead writes her a love note and brings her flowers, she will probably feel misunderstood and even resentful.

The same is true of the wife who tirelessly keeps the house clean, cooks from scratch, does the laundry every night and has the household budget in line, but is so wiped out by 8:00 p.m. she has little energy left for her husband. It may be that he’d prefer dirty floors, piles of laundry and a sandwich for dinner if it means having an energetic wife at bedtime. Of course, the better scenario would be a husband who recognizes her desire to have a clean house and who helps out more with household chores, so she can relax both physically and emotionally.

Regardless of the situation you find yourself in today, the best response is always to submit to God. You can’t change your spouse, but you can cooperate with God to change you.

Submit to God, love your spouse with His power and trust Him to work in your spouse’s life.

How Quickly Do You Forget?

I’ve become very good at forgetting. I can forget why I walked into a room. I can start a task, get distracted, and an hour later remember what I was originally going to do. A couple weeks ago, I forgot my oldest daughter’s wedding anniversary.

Those things aren’t good, but there’s a type of forgetting that’s far worse. It’s an intentional forgetting. Maybe a better term for it is ignoring. And I guess when carried to the extreme, it’s really called rebellion.

Right before the nation of Israel is going to enter the Promised Land, Moses reminds them of their history and gives them their final instructions from God. He’s reminding them of things and teaching them things they’ll need to remember once they cross the Jordan River to take possession of the land of Canaan.

In Deuteronomy 8, he tells them:

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.

If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. Like the nations the LORD destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the LORD your God.

Soon after speaking these words to Israel, Moses dies, and Joshua leads them into the Promised Land. And for a time, Israel remembers and obeys. For a time.

After the death of Joshua, there was no one to lead Israel and they fell into a period of several hundred years where they forgot God. They ignored Him. They rebelled against Him. This period in their history is recorded in the book of Judges.

After one period of peace, it says, “Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, and for seven years He gave them into the hands of the Midianites.” (Judges 6:1)

Israel eventually cries out to God for help and He rescues them by using Gideon and three hundred men to defeat an army of over 100,000. During Gideon’s lifetime, Israel once again enjoyed a period of peace for 40 years.

It doesn’t last though.

“No sooner had Gideon died than the Israelites again prostituted themselves to the Baals.” (Judges 8:33)

Do you ever wonder what in the world these people were thinking? Wasn’t it clear to them that things were better when they walked according to God’s ways? How could they so quickly forget what God had done for them?

Um, I do that. I forget. But again, that’s the kind word. I ignore, I rebel.

It’s easy to cry out to God in the desert, isn’t? It’s uncomfortable. We have needs. We want relief.

But when we enter the good land or when there are extended seasons of peace and provision, we tend to prostitute ourselves to our pleasures and distractions and other interests.

Like Israel, I forget. Do you?

So what are we to do? Is there any way out of the “cry out to God, experience His help, then forget Him,” cycle?

I think there is, but it requires a new priority and a new source of power.

If our priority is comfort or security or peace or pleasant circumstances, then once we have that, we will forget God. We won’t feel the urgency to seek Him. Why? Because we have from Him what we want.

We need a new priority. One that doesn’t change based on circumstances or feelings. Our priority needs to be a simple one. A very simple one. It simply needs to be to grow deeper in our friendship with God. Whether things are good or bad or somewhere in between, our goal doesn’t change. We want a deeper friendship with God. Period.

We also need a new source of power. Our own strength won’t cut it. We need God’s power. And that comes from the Holy Spirit. In Ephesians 1, Paul writes:

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

The Israelites didn’t have the Holy Spirit living in them, but if you have placed your faith in Christ, you do. You have the full power of God living in you. And we most fully experience His power when we most fully surrender.

So how quickly do you forget God?

If your answer is “pretty quick,” then it’s a sign you need a new priority and a new source of power.

How Much of What You Think About is True?

I was just doing a little research today to see how many thoughts the average person has each day. Opinions vary widely. One source said 2,400. Another said 55,000 and another 70,000. Interestingly, the article that said 2,400 also said that world-class athletes have less thoughts, which leads to greater focus. Or would it be greater focus leads to less thoughts?

My point though is that whether the number is 2,400 or 70,000 or somewhere in between, you and I do a lot of thinking.

So how much of what you think about is actually true? A related question, and just as important, is this: how much of what you think about do you think is true?

Let’s start with the last question.

I’m going to say that you and I tend to believe that most of what we think about is actually true. Whether it is or not. We just assume that most of our thoughts are right ones. If we knew them to be false, we wouldn’t keep thinking them, would we?

For example…

We think God is disappointed with us. He’s not, but we think He is, so we keep thinking it and then don’t feel right about approaching Him.

A young woman thinks if she has sex with her boyfriend, he’ll be more committed to her. Of course, it didn’t work with the last boyfriend or the one before that, but that doesn’t stop her from thinking it. More likely, the opposite is true.

A football player keeps thinking about the mistakes he could make that would cost his team the game. His confidence suffers and so does his performance.

A guy thinks that looking at pornography is harmless fun, but doesn’t realize he’s falling into a trap that will soon become an addiction. If he knew he’d soon be addicted, he might not be so quick to do it.

Or maybe it’s just all the subtle little thoughts we hardly pay attention to any more because we’ve completely convinced ourselves they’re true: I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty. I’m not smart. I always fail. I’ll never change. God won’t come through for me. I’ll never make it.

You get the point. We tend to think that most of our thoughts are true. That’s why we keep thinking them and giving them more power over us.

Our thoughts are the catalyst behind our emotions. I just don’t suddenly feel anxious–my thoughts cause that feeling. Fear or worry don’t just appear from nowhere–I give birth to them by what I think about, by what I believe is true.

Don’t believe everything you think. If even just 10% of our 2,400 thoughts are wrong, that means in any given day, we have 240 wrong thoughts. That’s not so bad if you thought it was going to be sunny, but it rained instead or you thought the Cowboys would win, but they lost.

The problem comes when we consistently have wrong thoughts about God, about ourselves, about others and about this life. From my own experience, the more I dwell on a wrong thought about God or myself, the stronger it becomes. It begins to exert more power and control over me.

Of course, the opposite can also be true. As I think about and believe the truth about God and myself, I begin to experience more of the life God intends for me. I experience more peace and less worry.

So how do we know which thoughts are true and which aren’t?

Ultimately, our only hope is in God’s word. There is no other reliable source of truth. Now of course if you think the rash on your arm is skin cancer, then the wise thing to do would be to see a doctor. Let her examine you and tell you the truth.

But most of our thoughts don’t need to be tested by a doctor. They need to be tested by God.

So how do we practically do that?

In yesterday’s post, I talked about developing a relationship with the Holy Spirit. That’s step one. There’s no substitute for having God Himself living inside us revealing truth to us. The Holy Spirit is our teacher, counselor and helper. He will never leave us or fail us. You can always trust Him to reveal the truth about you, God and this life.

The Bible is unlike any other book that will ever be written, because the Author Himself lives inside everyone who has placed their faith in Christ. There are many good Christian books, but those authors aren’t present with us as we read. And their words are not without error. We must allow God’s word to fill our minds and change how we think.

The Holy Spirit and the Word of God are a powerful combination. As you invest time reading the Bible, the Holy Spirit can speak to you and teach you and counsel you. He can cause a verse to jump off the page. He can guide you to promises He has for you. He alone can renew your mind. He can reveal wrong thought patterns you’ve held onto for years and replace them with truth.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4-9)

We can’t present our requests to God and then go right back to our wrong thoughts. We can’t just let our minds dwell on whatever they want to. We present our requests and then actively think about truth. We ask the Holy Spirit for His help. We spend time in God’s word to counteract the wrong way of thinking we’re bombarded with from the world each day.

Why not begin to question some of what you think about. Even those thoughts you’ve had for a long time. Those might be the ones that are giving you the most trouble.

The Holy Spirit. The Word of God. And choosing to think about the truth. It’s the only way.

The Holy Spirit

In Luke 11, Jesus’ disciples ask Him to teach them how to pray. After He models a prayer for them, He goes on to say:

“Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’

“Then the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

If you’re like me, you gravitate to the “ask and it will be given to you” part. Not even the seeking and knocking parts. Just the asking and receiving part.

Is that where you go too?

What’s really catching my attention today though is the very last thing Jesus said, “…how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Sure seems like Jesus is more excited about us asking for the Holy Spirit than anything else. Does that excite you though? I mean, would you rather have a financial breakthrough or the Holy Spirit? Would you rather experience physical healing or experience the Holy Spirit?

I’ll be honest, if I have a financial need or I’m  sick…I think I know what I want. Are you with me?

Fortunately, Jesus isn’t forcing us into a corner and making us choose. He doesn’t say it’s an either/or proposition. We can ask for financial help and also ask for the Holy Spirit. If we need healing, we can ask for that and ask for the Holy Spirit.

I know for some of us, the Holy Spirit is a bit of a mystery. Sure, we know He’s God, but it’s a little hard to relate to Him, right? Even if our earthly father wasn’t very good (thankfully mine was), we all know what it’s like to have a father, so we can relate to God the Father. And Jesus, God the Son, was human just like us. We can understand relating to another person.

But the Holy Spirit? It can be a little harder to understand Him. And yet Jesus had a lot to say about Him in John 14-16. Maybe it would be worth spending some time there.

Now here’s the really good news. If you’ve placed your faith in Christ, you don’t have to ask for the Holy Spirit. You already have Him. He’s living in you right now.

So rather than asking the Father to give us the Holy Spirit, maybe our prayer needs to be, “Holy Spirit, I give myself to you. All of me. Wholeheartedly. I hold nothing back.”

It’s really the only path to experiencing the full, abundant life God has for us. It doesn’t come through self-effort or hard work or manipulation. It comes through full and complete surrender to a person, to the Holy Spirit.

What’s stopping you from giving yourself to Him right now?

Exchanging the Truth For a Lie

For my wife’s birthday last week, I bought a shirt for her online. She likes it, but called me earlier today to let me know she was going to exchange it because it’s too big.

Exchanging a shirt isn’t a big deal. Some exchanges are though. Here’s how Paul put it in Romans 1:18-25…

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Paul starts out telling us that creation clearly reveals a Creator, but we suppress that truth. We prefer to do our own thing and go our own way rather than submit to the One who created us for Himself. Doing our own thing and going our own way is the essence of sin.

Because God has made Himself plain to us, Paul tells us that we are without excuse. No one will ever have the right to stand before God and say, “I didn’t know.”

The truth is that we did know, but chose to suppress it.

Suppressing the truth leads to futile thinking and foolish, darkened hearts. And this condition leads us to the first exchange:

We exchange the glory of God for images or idols.

You and I were designed to worship and serve. And we get to choose who will be the object of that worship and service. We can choose God or someone or something else. If we don’t choose God, then whatever else we choose becomes our god or idol.

Because God gives us the choice, He also allows us to experience the consequences of our choice. Paul explains that God gives us over to our sinful desires. This leads to another exchange:

We exchange the truth of God for a lie.

We then worship and serve created things rather than the Creator Himself.

Let’s look at how this plays out in our lives.

We choose to not submit to God. We have our own plans, goals and desires that come first. And so we set out living life on our terms. We may even attend church and pick up our Bible now and then, but we have no real intention of surrendering ourselves to God, so that we worship and serve Him only.

But remember–we are designed to worship and serve. Our hearts need an object to be devoted to.

Maybe it’s a result of how we were raised or friends we had in high school or books we read in college, but we find ourselves desiring something. Again, it could be a person, a thing, a feeling. Whatever. Maybe it’s money.

And so money becomes our god, our idol.

That might lead to not giving generously or even worse–being stingy. Why? Because we need our money. To give it away is to give away all it can do for us. Why would we want to give away our god, the thing that makes us feel powerful or happy or secure?

There’s a problem though. We find that we don’t ever have quite enough money because it really can’t deliver all those things it promises. And so we work longer and harder to earn more of it. When our home or 401k loses value, we worry and become anxious.

Keep in mind, we’ve exchanged the truth of God for a lie. Only God can provide true security and happiness. Money can’t, but when money is our idol–we listen to its lies. Money tells us that with enough of it in the bank, we can feel secure. Money tells us that we’ll be happy if we have new jeans, a better television or a newer car.

Maybe money isn’t your idol, but sex is. The sex idol lies by telling us that pornography will make us feel good or that sex with someone we’re not married to will be thrilling. Idols fail to mention the guilt and shame that follow.

A couple days ago, I saw this ad for a Las Vegas hotel in Delta Airlines magazine and snapped a picture with my phone:

The caption at the bottom reads, “Just the right amount of wrong.”

That’s the lie many of our idols whisper.

“Just a little won’t hurt.”

“It’s okay, no one will know.”

“Try it just this once.”

Most of us would recognize a blatant lie. It’s the subtle ones that get us.

Maybe for you it’s not money or sex, but idols come in many shapes and sizes. Shopping. Food. Alcohol. Drugs. Status. Technology. A spouse. A child. A sports team. Our looks. Our reputation.

An idol can be anything. They’re easy to identify. What can you not stop? What could you not do without? What occupies much of your thoughts?

If you can’t stop overeating–food is your idol. You go to it to celebrate when you feel good. You go to it to be comforted when you feel down or stressed. It’s your god and it lies by telling you it can provide the joy, peace and comfort you desire.

Simply trying to eat less or drink less or shop less is not the answer. Those things are symptoms.

Years ago, I owned a personal training gym that was located in a strip mall. Right next door was an office for Alcoholic’s Anonymous. You could always tell when they were having a meeting because you’d smell the cigarette smoke. I’m sure the AA program was helping them avoid alcohol, but many of them had simply exchanged the alcohol idol for a cigarette idol. You’ve probably heard of someone who quit smoking, but gained a lot of weight. They exchanged their cigarette idol for a food idol.

The answer isn’t to simply stop bad behaviors, although it’s certainly good to not smoke or drink too much. What we really need to do is address the heart issue. We need to turn from our idol and turn back to God. The Bible calls that repentance.

We need to worship and serve the one true God, not our idols. Until we address that core issue, we will struggle with wrong behaviors and addictions.

Let’s call our idols what they are: liars. Let’s turn away from them and submit ourselves to God.

Is it easy? No. Idols can have a strong hold on us. Lurking behind everyone of our idols is our enemy, Satan. His desire for you is found in John 10:10…

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…”

Satan is a thief that has come to steal from you, kill you and/or destroy you. And he doesn’t care which idol we choose to worship and serve in that process, as long as we don’t recognize the truth and submit to God.

God’s desire for us is found in the second part of that verse when Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

We experience a full life when we choose to turn away from our idols and worship and serve God. Until we do that, we will live in bondage to our idols, believing their lies that a full life can be found in created things, not the Creator.

Watch Out For This Person

Have you ever looked at the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted list? Check it out. These are some dangerous guys.

James J. Bulger looks like a friendly old grandpa. Except he’s wanted for 19 counts of murder, among other things.

Robert William Fisher looks like a nice guy, too. Of course he allegedly killed his wife and two young children before blowing up the house they lived in.

Then there’s Osama Bin Laden.

While these are evil, violent men, I don’t necessarily feel threatened by them. I understand Bin Laden could do great harm to many people at almost any time, but the odds of me being personally harmed are slim.

There is someone though who is much more likely to do me harm. Someone who at this moment does not even mean to harm me, but has great power to do so and has a track record of doing just that.

The person I need to watch out for is “future me.” Not mini-me. Future me.

At the moment, I am intent on obeying God, eating right, exercising and serving my wife and children well. The future me has proven, however, time after time to be weak, lazy, self-deceived, hypocritical and highly vulnerable to temptation.

For example, I plan on working out tomorrow. Much of the time, I actually enjoy running and lifting weights. But I’ve also learned over the years that during late fall and early winter I am inclined to eat poorly and not exercise as much as I should. I rarely miss workouts in the spring and summer, but that’s not the case right now.

Even though tomorrow is New Year’s Day and I plan to spend some time watching football,  there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to write a couple thousand words on the marriage book I’m writing. And yet, future me will be tempted to not write. He will waste time. He will look for other things to do. I’ve seen him do it.

I think the apostle Paul understood this when he wrote:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Romans 7:15)

Can you relate?

So on a day when many of us are either making or at least thinking about New Year’s Resolutions, what can we do to help out Future Me and Future You?

First, recognize we are totally dependent on God to live the life He calls us to. In John 15:5, Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” We will fail if we are relying on our own strength.

Second, temptation is unavoidable, but let’s at least be wise about it. James 1:14 says, “…each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.” What are you desiring that is outside God’s will? What do you think about? Want? Flirt with? If you continue to feed ungodly desires–you are setting up Future You to fall…again.

Third, if we’re going to stand against temptation, then we need to change our desires. To change our desires, we have to first change our thoughts. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Choose to spend time in God’s word to allow Him to change your thoughts. Learn to think as He does. Let Him reshape your desires to be in line with His so He can grant them.

Fourth, give more. Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Want to re-direct your heart, your desires, your focus? Then give. Your heart will follow your treasure. I found this to be true a number of years ago when I was playing around in the stock market. I was only investing a few hundred dollars, but the changing stock prices had me glued to my computer. My heart, my attention, my interest was following my treasure.

2011 is a few hours away. You and I have great intentions, but future you and me aren’t so well intentioned. They need our help. We can make some decisions now to help them.

Follow the Leader

There’s nothing more frustrating for a leader than a follower who won’t follow. And there’s nothing more frustrating for a follower than a leader who won’t lead. Now put a passive leader together with an unwilling follower and you’ve got a recipe for confusion, frustration and conflict. Welcome to marriage. Not all marriages, but many.

I find it fascinating that this is the very relationship that is meant to mirror God’s image. You almost want to ask, “Really God? Marriage?”

Yesterday we looked at the command in Ephesians 5 “to be filled with the Spirit.” And we said it begins with surrender, with giving God control of our lives. Then we looked at some of the results of being filled, leaving the more controversial one for today. Here’s what Paul said:

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I realize I’m wading into rough waters when I talk about submission. To be honest, I don’t even like the sound of the word. Maybe because it’s used as a club by men who mistakenly believe their wives are servants rather than equal partners. Rough waters or not though, I’m going in. Join me and let’s see where the current takes us.

In verse 21, Paul says we’re to submit to one another. Some have taken that to mean that everyone should live in a spirit of submission to everyone else. But that doesn’t really work, does it? Should I submit to my children? Does a supervisor submit to the employees who report to him?

No, I believe verse 21 is a lead in to the rest of chapter 5 and the beginning of chapter 6 where Paul discusses three relationships and explains how submission works in each one. He looks at the marriage relationship, the parent-child relationship and the master-slave relationship. We’re going to focus on the marriage relationship since it’s the most volatile to discuss.

Paul instructs wives to submit to their husbands. He says that the husband is the head of the wife just like Christ is the head of the church. Just like the church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands.

I know some of you can feel your blood pressure rising already. I understand. Just stay with me.

When I read the account of creation in Genesis 1-3, I don’t see any emphasis on Eve submitting to Adam. Maybe it was understood or maybe it wasn’t even an issue. I don’t know. I just see a husband and wife, fully equal before God, both charged with ruling over God’s creation. Together. Equally. Maybe they would exercise different roles and bring different strengths and perspectives, but I don’t see any command for Eve to submit to Adam.

Then sin entered the picture.

Once sin was in the equation, Eve is told that, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

The Hebrew word for desire is the same one used in the next chapter when God says to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

Sin was crouching at the door desiring to have control of Cain. Eve would now desire to control Adam, but that would not be her God-given position. Instead, Adam would now be the leader in the relationship.

Again, prior to sin, I just don’t think leading and following were an issue. But now, because of sin, there has to be an established order. The husband is to lead and the wife is to follow. This does not mean a husband and wife are not equal. It doesn’t mean the wife is less than. It simply means they have different roles to fulfill.

For a strong woman with the gift of leadership, like my wife, a husband who won’t lead can be very, very frustrating, so let’s take a look at the husband’s responsibility.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

I find it interesting that Paul uses twice as many words to articulate the husband’s role. Could it be that if the husband correctly fulfills his role then the wife has no problems fulfilling hers? Is much of the pain and confusion in marriage averted if the husband will simply live up to his end of the bargain?

So what does Paul say about the husband’s responsibility? Simply put, the husband is to die. He is to sacrifice his life for his wife, just as Christ did for the church. Period.

Husbands, we are to love our wives like Christ loves us. We’re not to demand our own way, assert our rights or insist things be our way. We are to give up our lives for our wives. We are to desire and bring about what is good and best for her. We are to love her by serving and caring for her. We make meeting her needs the priority over our own needs being met.

Guys, let’s not make it difficult for our wives to follow our lead. Let’s choose to lead well, like Jesus did. I can’t imagine any woman having difficulty following a husband who strives to be the servant-leader that Jesus was.

For those of you who have mistakenly thought that being the leader or head meant being served rather than serving, well, I’m sorry to disappoint you. You’ve had it backwards. Keep in mind, God created Eve because it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. Just as all the animals he’d just named had mates, Adam needed a mate. He needed someone else like him, so he wouldn’t be alone. He didn’t need a servant. He needed a partner.

Now here’s the most critical point of all: no one can do any of this apart from being filled with the Holy Spirit.

In our own strength, no one wants to submit and no one wants to die. And yet that is what is required to bring about the kind of marriage that will mirror God’s image.

Paul concludes his teaching on marriage in verses 32 and 33:

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Everything he’s been saying is a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church! When a husband and wife fulfill their roles in the power of the Holy Spirit, we get a glimpse of Christ’s relationship with us.

Regardless of the state of your marriage today, choose to surrender to Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to fill you. You don’t have it in you to pull this off. You need Him. Only through Him can a husband love and lead his wife. And only through Him can a wife follow and respect her husband.

God has a good plan for your marriage and He’s also provided the power to bring it about. His Spirit, working in and through you, is the key.