I love roller coasters. I love the anticipation of that big first drop. I love that feeling of being out of control. And I love the speed. Now I can love all those things because ultimately I trust the ride is safe. Even though it’s a tremendous thrill, I have confidence that I will make it through to the end of the ride.
My default mode or what I believe about roller coasters is: enjoy the ride because you’re going to make it out alive.
You and I also have a default mode for processing life. We have certain ways of responding to people, circumstances, difficulties, surprises, disappointments, etc. If we do nothing to change, we’ll most likely continue to respond the way we always have.
There’s a lot that goes into determining our default settings. Parents, friends, teachers and coaches had a part in setting them for us. So did the media we’ve been exposed to and the books we’ve read. Without consciously thinking about it–we’ve developed a default mode for how we process life and make our choices.
I’ve noticed something about my default mode that I really don’t like. When faced with bad news or even just the unknown, I worry, I fear the worst and I doubt God’s goodness. That’s my default mode. And it looks like it was the same mode the disciples struggled with.
Mark 4:35-41 says…
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
Some of these guys were experienced fishermen so they’d experienced bad weather before, but this must have been a really bad storm. There’s no record of anyone saying, “Hey guys, calm down! It’s not that bad. We can ride this out.”
This was a bad storm and they thought they were about to drown. Now what would have changed everything for them, what would have helped reset their default mode, was knowing that the one who was in complete control and who cared for them was asleep on a cushion at the back of the boat.
But they either doubted His power or His care because they wake Jesus up and ask Him a question we’ve probably all asked or at least wondered, “Don’t you care?”
It seems that our default mode, well, I won’t speak for you…it seems that my default mode is to question God’s goodness when circumstances are bad. I allow the severity of the situation to completely obscure the simple fact that God really does care for me.
Even when we don’t see Him doing anything, He is still good and He still cares. We will never escape His grasp. We will never be forgotten. We will never have to go it alone.
So Jesus got up and told the storm to be quiet and still. And it was.
What the disciples didn’t know was that their hearts and minds could have been quiet and still even in the midst of the furious storm. They didn’t have to wait for the storm to be quiet before they could be.
And that should really be my default mode when it comes to life. Sure, there will be tough times and painful circumstances and things I won’t understand, but because God is good and He cares and He’s in control, I can trust Him to see me safely through whatever ups and downs and twists and turns come my way.
Panic. Fear. Worry. Doubt. Discouragement. That’s my default mode. I wish I could say that resetting it is easy, but it’s not, at least it hasn’t been for me. Developing a new default mode requires ongoing effort and time in God’s word to believe the truth–that God is good, that God cares and God is in control.
Has that ever been your prayer? Or have you ever at least wondered?
You might be in the midst of a second round of chemo, like my friend Jeff.
Or like one young man I heard about today…in less than a year–your dad dies, your mom dies and then the day before you leave for boot camp–your girlfriend breaks up with you.
Or despite doing everything you know to do, your marriage continues to get worse. Or your child continues to rebel. Or your boss is still a jerk.
Or your finances keep getting worse. Just when it seems like you’re about to get ahead, you get hit with an unexpected bill.
God, have You forgotten me? Can You not see what I’m going through here?
Where are You, God? And why aren’t You helping?
When circumstances are bad and they don’t seem to be improving and God isn’t saying much…it’s easy to lose hope, to wonder where He is and what He’s up to. It’s easy to doubt His love for us. It’s easy to doubt if He’s even good.
I’ve been there. I’ve doubted. I’ve wondered. I’ve been angry. I’ve been discouraged.
And I’ve lost hope.
Have you? Are you there now?
I wonder if Noah could relate.
Noah was a righteous man living among a lot of evil. He was trying to do the right thing and honor God when those around him weren’t.
And God saw. He knew what was going on. Check out the story in Genesis 6.
So Noah does what God says and builds an ark. And God does what He says He’ll do and He sends a flood, which Noah, his wife, his three sons and their wives ride out in the ark. Along with a bunch of animals. Read that part of the story in Genesis 7-8.
The flood began “in the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, on the seventeenth day of the second month…” And in the coming days, every creature that lived on dry ground is completely wiped out except for Noah, his family and the animals on the ark.
And “the waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days.”
It rained for forty days and nights, but the earth was totally flooded for five months before God sends a wind so that the waters will begin to recede.
I grew up near the ocean, but I can’t remember ever being so far out on a boat that I couldn’t see the shore. I’ve also never been on a cruise. Maybe you have. Maybe you’ve been out at sea and couldn’t see land.
Of course, a cruise ship and Noah’s ark couldn’t be more different. Noah’s boat was built to ensure the human race would survive a world-wide flood. It held a total of eight human beings, a whole bunch of animals and enough food to last until the flood was over. No staterooms. No dining rooms and endless buffets. No deck chairs. No casinos. No shore excursions.
Just Noah, his family and the animals. Alone on the earth. Surrounded by nothing but water. For five months. And we have no record of God communicating with them during that time. Nothing. Not one word.
The first word of chapter 8 is one of my absolute favorites in the Bible: But.
“But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.”
A couple verses later, it says, “The water receded steadily from the earth.”
After five months, the waters are finally beginning to recede. And “the waters continued to recede until the tenth month, and on the first day of the tenth month the tops of the mountains became visible.”
Seven and a half months after the flood began, the tops of the mountains are now visible. Moses waits another forty days and sends out a raven and a dove. The raven kept flying back and forth. The dove looks for dry ground, but can’t find it so it returns to Noah. After a week passes, Noah sends the dove out again. This time the dove returns with a freshly plucked olive leaf in its beak, so Noah knew the water was receding.
After another week, Noah sends the dove out again. This time it doesn’t return.
“By the first day of the first month of Noah’s six hundred and first year, the water had dried up from the earth. Noah then removed the covering from the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry. By the twenty-seventh day of the second month the earth was completely dry.”
In Noah’s six hundredth and first year on the twenty-seventh day of the second month the earth was completely dry. He and his family had been on the ark for one year, one month and ten days.
As I read this story today, here’s what jumped out at me…
The waters receded slowly.
Once the rain stopped, God didn’t zap away all the water. He sent a wind. That’s it. No zapping. No wand-waving. No miracles.
Just a wind. And then a lot of waiting.
Oh, and remembering. God always remembered Noah and his family and the animals.
He never forgot them.
Just like He never forgets you.
Maybe you’ve been enduring a 13-month trial of your own. Or maybe a 23-month trial. Or 33 months. Or longer.
God hasn’t forgotten though. There might still be a miracle coming, but there might just be a slow-receding.
Little by little the waters of difficulties and pain and confusion are receding. It might feel so slow that you don’t even notice. You will though. One day, you’ll notice the dove will return with an olive leaf. And not long after, the dove won’t return at all.
The waters will have receded. You’ll see dry ground again.
Until then, remember that God remembers. He never, ever forgets you.
I’ve been really intrigued by the Christmas story this year. Read Matthew 2, then I’ll share a couple things that jumped off the page at me…
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”
When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:
“‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.’”
Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”
After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.
When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”
So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”
When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:
“A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more.”
After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.”
So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: “He will be called a Nazarene.”
So two things stand out to me…
First, since Matthew is writing to a Jewish audience, he is careful to mention how various events are fulfilling Old Testament prophecies concerning Jesus. He’s making clear that everything God said would happen is now coming to pass. It’s a great reminder that God is faithful and in control. He can always be counted on to do what He says He’ll do.
The second thing I noticed is how God handles a death threat against His Son. Wouldn’t you think God would just kill Herod when He learns he has plans to kill Jesus? After all, God has all power and authority. All. Power. And. Authority. No one can oppose Him. Why not just kill Herod?
And yet, rather than taking out Herod, He has an angel warn Joseph to take Mary and Jesus and flee to Egypt. Doesn’t that seem like the hard way to do it? I mean, Herod is an evil monster. Just take him out. Why make Mary and Joseph escape to Egypt to save Jesus? Do you think they may have wondered the same thing?
That’s just not God’s way, is it? Sure, God answers prayers, performs miracles and intervenes in human affairs, but God also seems very content to let things play out. He doesn’t usually override human decisions. He lets us choose. We get to decide whether we’ll live according to His ways or our own. God doesn’t force us to do things His way.
God’s wisdom and guidance are always available to us, but we don’t have to listen. Herod didn’t. And God didn’t change his mind. He doesn’t overrule our choices either.
The choices we make have an impact on others. And their choices have an impact on us. Sometimes it’s a good impact. Sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it’s very bad.
I know we want God to just zap our enemies and make all of our circumstances pleasant ones. At least I do. But that’s not how He usually works. More often than not, it seems that He lets choices–good ones and bad ones–just play out. And then He gives us the wisdom and strength to navigate whatever comes our way.
In the midst of it all, God invites us to seek Him and walk according to His ways. He invites us to experience His love and love Him in return.
He wants a genuine friendship with us. It’s what He’s always wanted. And that requires that we have a choice.
It’s less than two weeks until Christmas. So how’s your Christmas spirit holding up? Do you feel connected to God? Or has the busyness of the season already robbed you of what little joy and peace you had?
Sometimes I think the root of our problem is the simple fact that we practically live like atheists or agnostics. And I’ll be honest, I don’t know how atheists and agnostics do it. How do they keep going? Even more, why do they keep going?
If you’re convinced there is no God (atheism) or you neither believe nor disbelieve in God (agnosticism), what’s the point? Of anything?
Why go to work? Why try to do the right thing? Why help someone less fortunate? Why tell the truth? Why remain faithful to your spouse? Why keep living?
Why? Why? Why?
What’s the point if there is no God?
If you believe there is no God and that the theory of evolution explains our existence, then there is no meaning or purpose or point to anything in the universe. If everything that exists came from nothing, then everything is an accident. Pure, random chance. And there can be no point to an accident. By definition, an accident lacks intention or purpose.
But if there is a God, then there is a point. Our lives do have meaning and purpose. We were created with intentionality. There’s a reason we’re here.
And if there’s a reason, then is there anything more important than understanding what it is?
In other words, if you exist for a reason, if there’s a God who created you with a purpose in mind, then it would seem like the wise thing to do to discover what it is and then live according to it.
I believe the Bible provides the answers to those questions. In it, we discover the One who created the universe. He has revealed Himself to us. He has shown us what He’s like and what’s important to Him.
“In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.” (Hebrews 1:1-3)
Jesus is “the exact representation of his being.” In other words, Jesus is God.
In the first couple of chapters of Luke, we find the story of Jesus’ birth. For many of us, it’s a familiar story. Mary is virgin and gets a visit from an angel who tells her that she’s going to give birth. He tells her that God Himself will be the child’s father.
Do those last few sentences amaze you? Or has the familiar become boring and almost meaningless? If it has, maybe it’s time to stop what you’re doing and re-visit the story.
Think about it, God made the conscious decision to step out of heaven and become one of us. He was born to a virgin in the town of Bethlehem, just as it had been prophesied. He came to reveal to us what He’s like and to pay our penalty for sin.
It really is an amazing story.
Do you believe it though? Do you really believe it? Will it effect how you live today? How you speak? How you spend your time? How you spend your money?
It just doesn’t make sense to believe God stepped into human history and then live as if He doesn’t even exist. He wants us to know Him and experience His love for us. And He wants us to love Him in return.
It’s what God has always wanted. Friendship. With you.
I’ve been a fan of Penn State and Joe Paterno ever since my cousin played football there in the mid-70′s. So I’m particularly grieved and saddened by the news that Jerry Sandusky, a long-time assistant coach, was sexually assaulting young boys over a period of many years.
I read the grand jury presentment last week–what those boys had to endure was awful, especially coming from a powerful male figure they trusted. I have a very dear friend who has suffered from sexual abuse, so I’ve seen how painful it can be.
Obviously, Jerry Sandusky is a sick man. And he will pay for his crimes. I don’t know this, but I suspect that what he did to those boys was done to him as a child. It doesn’t excuse his behavior by any means, but it may give us some context for it.
Sadly, Penn State officials, including Coach Paterno, knew of Sandusky’s actions, but nothing was ever done and Sandusky continued to enjoy access to Penn State facilities for years. It appears that the Penn State football brand was given higher value than the young victims who were suffering Sandusky’s abuse.
What happened at Penn State is terrible. Sexual assault. What appears to be a cover-up. And for sure there were misplaced priorities and a group of men who were morally weak and passive.
And yet, I hesitate to pile on and point my finger. Maybe what you and I have done doesn’t compare to what Sandusky did, but our sin was still heinous enough to put Jesus on a cross. If our sin was made public, we’d all be humiliated.
I would have been outraged had I witnessed Sandusky sexually assaulting a young boy and I believe I would have taken action to stop him. But what if I wasn’t an actual eye-witness? What if I only learned about it later? Would I speak up? What if it was made clear I’d be risking my career? I want to believe I’d do the right thing, but I haven’t always done the right thing in the past. Have you?
Am I offering excuses or suggesting we go easy on Jerry Sandusky and the men who turned a blind eye to it all? No, there are consequences to our actions. The university president, Graham Spanier and Coach Paterno have already been fired. Others have already lost their jobs and been indicted. And if found guilty, Sandusky will likely spend the rest of his life in prison. As he should.
I believe anger, grief and disappointment are all appropriate emotions to feel in this situation, but for me, so are humility and compassion. I just know my own heart. I know where I’ve failed…and continue to. There are several reminders for me that come from this terrible situation…
Sin devastates and destroys everything in its path. When I choose to live independently of God and ignore His ways–there are always consequences. Some are easily recognized and some are hidden…for a time. But make no mistake about it–I will eventually reap what I sow (Galatians 6:9).
My only hope is to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. I do not have the power within myself to consistently do the right thing. I need God’s power. Romans 8 and Galatians 5 make this clear.
We are all in desperate need of grace and forgiveness. From God and each other. The officials at Penn State need it. I do. You do. So does Jerry Sandusky. In John 8, we read:
But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Waiting is one of the hardest aspects of walking with God. And since God never seems to be in a hurry, waiting is something we should not only get used to, but learn to embrace.
I won’t suggest I enjoy waiting. I don’t. But I do know it can be a rich, productive season, whether it lasts a day, a year or 40 years, like it did for Moses.
I have a friend who will undergo tests today in Houston to see if he is still cancer free. He had major surgery earlier this year to remove cancerous areas from his colon and liver. He’ll learn the results of the tests on Wednesday. Tonight and tomorrow will be a season of waiting. Two nights might not seem like a long time, but try waiting that long to find out if your cancer has returned.
Maybe you’ve also waited for test results. Or the return phone call after an interview. Or maybe you’ve waited for a spouse or a baby. I have two daughters who are married to men in the military. Each have had to wait for their husbands to return home.
It could be that you’re in a set of circumstances you’d rather not be in. You’re unemployed. You’re in a financial mess. Your marriage is falling apart. Your child continues to live in rebellion. Or you’re sick and the doctor can’t figure it out.
And you’ve prayed. You’ve cried out to God. And you’ve waited. And waited. And waited.
And you’ve wondered where God is and what He’s doing.
I’ve been there. It’s frustrating. It’s discouraging. It’s confusing.
Or, if we let it, the waiting can be a time of growth and greater intimacy with God. It can be a season that prepares us for what’s to come. Greater responsibility? Greater fruitfulness? Greater influence? Only God knows.
In Acts 7, Stephen is speaking before the Sanhedrin (a Jewish court):
23 “When Moses was forty years old, he decided to visit his fellow Israelites. 24 He saw one of them being mistreated by an Egyptian, so he went to his defense and avenged him by killing the Egyptian. 25 Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not. 26 The next day Moses came upon two Israelites who were fighting. He tried to reconcile them by saying, ‘Men, you are brothers; why do you want to hurt each other?’
27 “But the man who was mistreating the other pushed Moses aside and said, ‘Who made you ruler and judge over us? 28 Do you want to kill me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?’ 29 When Moses heard this, he fled to Midian, where he settled as a foreigner and had two sons.
30 “After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai. 31 When he saw this, he was amazed at the sight. As he went over to look more closely, he heard the Lord’s voice: 32 ‘I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’ Moses trembled with fear and did not dare to look.
33 “Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals; the place where you are standing is holy ground. 34 I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.’
35 “This is the same Moses whom they had rejected with the words, ‘Who made you ruler and judge?’ He was sent to be their ruler and deliverer by God himself, through the angel who appeared to him in the bush. 36 He led them out of Egypt and did wonders and miraculous signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea and for forty years in the desert.
When Moses was 40 years old, he decided to visit his fellow Israelites. He thought they would see him as the one to rescue them from the Egyptians. And then he commits murder. He decided. He thought. He killed. God wasn’t in it.
Clearly, this was not God’s timing or God’s ways. And so Moses flees. For 40 years. Until it’s God’s timing for him to return to Egypt and do things God’s way.
Look what happens though when it is God’s timing. The very same Moses they rejected is later sent back to them as the one God would use to deliver them from the hands of the Egyptians. Moses had the right idea–his timing was just off.
During your season of waiting, God will continue to work. You may not always see it, but He will never stop working. He will be working to mature you, to give you wisdom, to teach you His ways and to prepare you for what’s to come. He will be at work in your circumstances and in the lives of others.
When you lose sight of God, remember this: no matter what is happening, God will always be at work so you will know Him better and trust Him more. He will always be working for your good and His glory.
Maybe you have a dream or a desire–something you really believe God has put on your heart. But nothing is happening. There’s no forward progress. No end in sight to your current circumstances. God doesn’t seem to be cooperating.
As hard as this will be, let me encourage you to relax. Seek God with all your heart. Trust Him. Do everything He commands. And wait patiently.
Unmet or conflicting desires can lead to fighting. When you put your own wants and desires before your spouse’s, there will inevitably be conflict.
The world’s plan is to put our own needs before our spouse’s needs. James 3:13-18, tells us this will be characterized by envy and selfish ambition. The result is “disorder and every evil practice.”
Patterns of living according to the world’s ways can run deep. What we learned as children from our parents can be very, very tough to unlearn or overcome. Continuing to live according to the world’s plans as an adult will only lead to a very unhealthy and ultimately unsuccessful marriage.
When I spend little time seeking God by reading His word and talking with Him, I will naturally follow the world’s plan for my life. I will pursue my plans, my goals and my desires. James 4:4 compares this type of living to committing adultery against God. When I choose to be a friend of the world, I become an enemy of God. And you never want to have God as your enemy.
Anger and/or depression may be a signal of a wrong or blocked desire or goal. Sometimes it’s a legitimate desire being blocked by a sinful spouse. Sometimes it’s an illegitimate desire being blocked by God. James 4:6 says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Yes, God opposes us when we choose to do things our own way and live according to our own plans and desires. Going our own way is the essence of pride.
Pride is what led to Satan’s rebellion against God. It is what leads to “disorder and every evil practice.” The only solution is found in James 4:7, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” We will either submit to God and resist the devil or submit to the devil and resist God.
There are four types of marriages:
The husband has submitted to God and the wife has submitted to God. This relationship is characterized by putting the other’s needs first. The atmosphere of the marriage will be pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. It doesn’t mean everything will always be smooth and free of conflict, but it does mean God is present, at work in both people and the ultimate goal is to please God and advance His kingdom. Together.
The husband has not submitted to God and the wife has not submitted to God. In this relationship, both husband and wife are striving to get their needs met first. This type of relationship is “earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.” There will be envy and selfish ambition, resulting in “disorder and every evil practice.” Does it mean there will never be moments of happiness? No, but this type of marriage will always fall short of God’s intended design, because it’s based on worldly, not godly principles. And most likely, this marriage will fail to last.
The husband has submitted to God, but the wife has not submitted to God. This is a marriage being lived out under conflicting worldviews. The husband is putting God before himself, but the wife is putting herself before God. The husband will most likely feel frustrated by having certain desires, and even needs, go unmet. As far as experiencing all that God intends for them both individually and as a couple, it’s like having a 6-cylinder car that’s only firing on three cylinders. It’ll run, but it’s a slow, rough ride and not very enjoyable.
The husband has not submitted to God, but the wife has submitted to God. Same situation as above, but because the husband is charged with providing leadership in the family and is not, the long-term consequences are worse in this situation. It’s not just the marriage that’s effected, but the children and successive generations.
Sadly, when one spouse chooses to not submit to God, it makes life much more difficult for the spouse who has chosen to live according to God’s ways. The sin of the prideful spouse infects the entire marriage.
Not living in submission to God doesn’t always have to look like active rebellion. It can also manifest as passive indifference. One spouse may be trying to walk obediently with God, but still be indifferent to a spouse’s needs. He or she may not even be aware of this until it is pointed out. Once it’s pointed out though, it becomes sinful to not lovingly meet the legitimate needs of the other.
The more opposite you are from your spouse the more awkward it will feel to express love in the way your spouse can receive it. And if you are not living in submission to God, then you will have little desire and no power to choose to love your spouse.
For example, if a wife is task-oriented, detailed and organized–she may feel more loved by a husband who comes home on time, balances the checkbook to the penny and takes out the garbage on time. If he ignores those things and instead writes her a love note and brings her flowers, she will probably feel misunderstood and even resentful.
The same is true of the wife who tirelessly keeps the house clean, cooks from scratch, does the laundry every night and has the household budget in line, but is so wiped out by 8:00 p.m. she has little energy left for her husband. It may be that he’d prefer dirty floors, piles of laundry and a sandwich for dinner if it means having an energetic wife at bedtime. Of course, the better scenario would be a husband who recognizes her desire to have a clean house and who helps out more with household chores, so she can relax both physically and emotionally.
Regardless of the situation you find yourself in today, the best response is always to submit to God. You can’t change your spouse, but you can cooperate with God to change you.
Submit to God, love your spouse with His power and trust Him to work in your spouse’s life.
One of the benefits of reading and studying the Old Testament is gaining an understanding of how God has worked in history. Put another way–we get to see what God is up to. We grasp the big picture. And that’s always helpful for me when I seem to get lost in either the details of life or the details of a particular passage of Scripture.
So what is God up to?
Well, He’s up to you and me.
He created us to live in friendship with Him. For reasons beyond my understanding, God loves us. The Person who spoke and the universe came into existence desires us. He wants us.
The eternal Creator of everything is crazy about you. He’s crazy about me. You and I actually matter to Him. Don’t miss that. It may be the single most amazing truth there is. You matter to God.
God isn’t far away and unconcerned. He hasn’t forgotten you. He isn’t too busy.
He’s close. He’s concerned. And He’s crazy in love with you.
Maybe the big picture story of the Old Testament is simply this:
There is a God who’s head over heels in love with us and gets jealous when we give our love to the world instead of Him. And so He lovingly and graciously opposes us when we turn away from Him.
That’s the message we find in James 4:6…
But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
We’re proud when we live life on our own terms, when we choose to go our own way. God clearly sets out a way for us to live and relate to Him. When we choose to do things our own way, He lovingly opposes us.
Are you experiencing God’s opposition today? Is He standing in your way to oppose you?
Is it possible to even know if God is opposing us?
When our goals are blocked we get frustrated, don’t we? We want something, but don’t get it. We desire something, but can’t have it. And so we feel frustrated. Left unchecked, frustration easily becomes anger or depression or both.
If you’re feeling angry or depressed, maybe it’s because your goal or desire is being blocked. By God. Because it’s not something He wants for you. It’s something you want for you, but He knows it’s not good or best. And so He very lovingly and graciously and patiently opposes you. He gets in your way.
Until you turn around and go His way.
The next verse in James says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
Maybe those frustrating circumstances or conflict-filled relationships are the result of going your own way. The answer? Submit to God. Turn back to Him. Surrender it all to Him.
And remember, “He gives us more grace.”
He will always give us the grace and the power to do whatever He calls us to do. He never gives a command without also giving the ability to carry it out.
Now I’m not suggesting that every difficulty we face is the result of God opposing us. Just as Satan is not behind every bad thing that happens. We live in a badly broken world. Bad stuff happens. Other people can do things to really wound us through no fault of our own.
Sometimes though, those long-lasting, frustrating circumstances are the result of our wrong choices. Remember the big picture–God created you for Himself. He’ll never be content with sharing you. He wants your complete devotion. He wants to be the object of your deepest desires. And He gets jealous when He’s not.
So rather than let us wander off in the wrong direction and get ourselves into even more trouble–He opposes us. For our own good. So we’ll turn back to Him.
Where are you at today? Frustrated? Angry? Discouraged? Even depressed?
Maybe the most powerful prayer you could pray is simply, “Lord, thank you for opposing me. I submit.”
Before you answer, let’s look at some of the definitions from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
to lose strength: weaken <her health was failing>
to fade or die away <until our family line fails>
to stop functioning normally <the patient’s heart failed>
to fall short <failed in his duty>
to be unsuccessful <the marriage failed>
to become bankrupt or insolvent
I’m going with the answer, “yes,” God wants us to fail. Based on the definitions above, here’s why:
God wants us to lose strength and understand we’re weak, so that we’ll also learn we “…can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) If we insist on trying to follow Jesus in our own strength, God will let us fail. He’s not in the business of blessing our plans, but He will give us strength to do whatever He calls us to do.
God wants us, our natural selves, to die. He said, “And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27) Life is not about achieving our goals, accumulating wealth and having a good time. It’s about pursuing God’s goals, storing up treasure in heaven and experiencing the love, joy and peace of God.
God wants us to stop functioning normally, so we can start functioning supernaturally. Paul wrote to the church in Rome:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)
Do you want to know God’s good, perfect and pleasing will for your life? It’s the result of offering yourself to Him and no longer “functioning normally” as the world does. We must choose to no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but to instead be transformed by the renewing of our minds. In other words, we must learn to think like God. That comes from having our minds saturated with His word.
God wants us to understand we’ve already fallen short of his holy standard. We chose to live life on our terms, not His. We went our own way. We rebelled against the sovereign King of the universe. Paul said, “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) Our only recourse is to accept the forgiveness that Christ offers.
God wants us to be unsuccessful whenever we choose to pursue our own plans. It’s always good to remember that it’s not about you. It’s not about me. My goals and plans and dreams aren’t relevant…unless they’re ones God has given me. Only then does He want me to be successful. Even that is conditional though–God wants me to be successful in achieving His goals in His strength and in His ways. Not my goals. Not my strength. Not my ways.
God wants me to know I’m spiritually bankrupt. Jesus said, “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” (Matthew 5:3 NLT) The poor Jesus is referring to are the ones who realize their need for Him, not simply those who lack financial resources. We are bankrupt. We’re broke. We’re totally dependent on God for everything.
Are you experiencing a season of failure? Things just aren’t working out? Can’t catch a break?
Maybe God is allowing you to fail. Not to punish you or humiliate you, but to teach you and to bless you. He knows true life is found only in Him. Not in money. Not in a career. Not in sex. Not in a relationship.
In Him alone.
So why would He grant success in the pursuits that only move us away from finding our life in Him?
Failure isn’t permanent or terminal. Failure is a stepping stone to greater intimacy with God and greater fruitfulness in His kingdom.
The writer of Hebrews said, “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.” (Hebrews 12:7)
Your current failure or hardship is God treating you as His child, a child He loves deeply and for whom He only desires the very best. Seek Him. Get to know Him better. Trust Him.
Ultimately, He wants you to be successful in everything He calls you to do. And He will always provide the strength and wisdom you need to accomplish His will.
I just finished reading through the Old Testament books of Judges and Ruth. They both take place during the same time period in Israel’s history.
In Judges, we get a look at all of the various people who led Israel during the time from about 1382 to 1043 BC, including Deborah, Gideon and Samson. These were dark times in Israel’s history as they continually turned their backs on God and experienced His rebuke.
In Ruth, we’re introduced to one family and all of the pain, confusion and hardship they endured. It’s a powerful story with a great twist at the end. Be sure to read it–it’s only four chapters.
What strikes me as I read about the lives of these men and women is that their stories are always being played out in the context of a much bigger story. And that’s true with you and me also.
There’s God’s story and there’s our story, which is also part of God’s story. Your story and my story are sub-plots. We’re not the main story. God is.
In Ruth’s case, she lived in the country of Moab–just east of Israel. Because of a famine in Bethlehem, a man named Elimelech left there and went to live in Moab with his wife Naomi and their two sons. Eventually, Elimelech dies and the two sons marry Moabite women. Ruth is one of these two women.
About ten years after leaving Bethlehem, both of the sons die also. That’s when Naomi gets word that the famine in Bethlehem has ended, so she decides to go home. Ruth insists on going with her so these two widows set out for Bethlehem.
In a period of ten years, Naomi has gone from living in the Promised Land, being married and being the mother of two sons to living in a foreign country, losing a husband, losing both sons and now returning home unhappy, unfulfilled and feeling bitter about life.
How do we know she feels this way? When she arrives in Bethlehem, she tells people not to call her Naomi, but to call her Mara, which means “bitter.”
It would be hard to blame her, right? It’s been a pretty rough ten years. There had to be many times on that road back to Bethlehem that she thought, “Where’s God when you need Him?”
Have you ever felt that way?
I have. Lots of times. I’ve been angry, confused and bitter. I’ve wondered where God was and why He wasn’t helping. You might feel that way today.
Your marriage is in trouble.
Your child won’t listen to you.
You just lost your job or your house or both.
You desperately want a child, but can’t get pregnant and it doesn’t help that the unmarried teenage girl can.
The diagnosis came back. It’s not good and not what you expected.
So where’s God when we need Him?
Let’s step back into the lives of Naomi and Ruth again and see what we learn…
Once back in Bethlehem, Ruth meets a close relative of Naomi’s deceased husband. This man, named Boaz, has the right to purchase the property owned by Naomi’s husband and sons, which he does. And part of the deal is that Ruth becomes his wife.
God is working out His bigger story, but He’s also caring for Naomi and Ruth.
Eventually, Boaz and Ruth have a son, named Obed. When he is grown, Obed and his wife give birth to a son, named Jesse. Years later, Jesse becomes the father of David. King David.
And about a thousand years later, Jesus, the Savior of the world, is born in the line of King David.
Naomi couldn’t have known that was going to happen. Neither did Ruth. God knew though. He was always working in history to bring about His bigger story, His master plan to save the world.
Do you know how your present difficulties may be used by God one day? No, but He does. He sees your pain and suffering and none of it will be wasted. As you trust Him and persevere, He is conforming you to His image and using your circumstances to advance His kingdom.
No, you can’t see it, but He can. Just keep believing Him.
He’s not just the God of the big story, He’s the God of your story. He has a good plan for you. His love for you will never fail. When you seek Him, you will find Him.
Naomi felt bitter because she thought God was against her. I get that. I’ve felt that way. It’s just not true though. God is never against us. He’s always for us. We just need to remember there’s always a bigger story being played out. And we have a part in it. Our current, painful, confusing circumstances are part of God’s bigger story.
We don’t have to become bitter. That happens when we focus only on what we see and feel. Genuine joy and peace are ours when we choose to keep our eyes on God and trust that He is good and that He is working things out for our good and His ultimate glory.
Where is God when we need Him?
He’s here with us. He can be trusted, even when all hell is breaking loose. He is not the cause of your pain or difficulties, but He can use them to accomplish His purposes in your life and in the bigger story.
Our part is to walk faithfully with Him and not give up. Naomi and Ruth could have given up. On life and on God. But they didn’t.
In the closing scene of Ruth, we see Naomi holding Obed in her lap, caring for him. There’s no way she could have known she was holding the grandfather of King David.
God has a good plan for you. Keep trusting Him. Keep seeking Him. Keep obeying Him. You cannot possibly imagine all the good He’s going to do for you and through you, if only you will keep walking with Him.
Gregg Stutts - Executive Pastor of The Church at Arkansas in Fayetteville. Husband to Robyn and father to Rachel, Erica, Amy and Rob. On a continuing journey of believing God.
Gregg Stutts - Executive Pastor of The Church at Arkansas in Fayetteville. Husband to Robyn and father to Rachel, Erica, Amy and Rob. On a continuing journey of believing God.
