In the mid-90′s, I was in a job I didn’t like and was looking for a change. A couple years later, I was without a job and looking for a change. Ten years later, I was again in a job that was no longer a fit and was looking for a change.
Last week, I visited a friend in the hospital who’d recently undergone major surgery to remove several tumors. A week after the surgery, he was fighting off a serious infection. He just wanted to start feeling better. He was looking for a change.
I’ve talked to numerous men and women who are unhappy in their marriages. They are looking for a change.
When our circumstances are difficult or unpleasant or just less than desirable–we’re all looking for a change. We want to move on. We want something better. We want God to do something. Sooner than later.
I’m sure the nation of Israel felt the same way.
They’d been slaves in Egypt for 400 years and when change finally came, it was short-lived. Because of their rebellion and unbelief, God made them wander in the desert for 40 years until all those over the age of 20 died off.
Once that generation had died, God led Israel to the east side of the Jordan River in preparation for crossing into the land of Canaan–the land He’d sworn to give to Abraham hundreds of years earlier.
Can you imagine the anticipation?
It would be like a few days before your wedding, Christmas and the best vacation ever all rolled into one. All you’ve ever known is slavery and living in a desert and now, you’re about to move into the land that God is giving you for your very own. They will live in cities they didn’t build. They’ll harvest vineyards they didn’t plant. They’ll be out of the dry, dusty desert and enjoying a land with streams and pools of water.
Everything is about to change for the better.
But is Israel ready?
Moses described them as a rebellious and stiff-necked people. They were prone to grumbling, complaining and wandering. They had short memories–often forgetting what God had done for them.
Are they ready for what God is doing for them? Will they be fully able to enjoy this good land He’s giving them? Have they learned anything from their past?
Still valid questions today.
Are you ready? Are you ready for whatever change God may want to bring into your life?
Are you ready for a new relationship? Are you ready for your marriage to become all God intended? Are you ready for the new job? The new city to live in? The new addition to your family? The increase in pay? New opportunities and responsibilities?
I don’t mean are you tired of your current circumstances. That’s a given. I’m talking about actually being ready to receive or enjoy or capitalize on whatever God is about to do.
When Israel came out of Egypt, God led them to Mt. Sinai where they received the 10 commandments. They would camp there for some time as God revealed many other commands. And before they were ready to cross the Jordan, Moses reviewed God’s commands and explained how to live them out in the new land they would possess.
There are a couple significant passages from what Moses taught that may help us answer the question: Are you ready for a change?
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. (Deuteronomy 6:4-10)
Love God. Have His commandments on your heart. Impress them upon your children. Talk about them.
Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God. He also said we demonstrated love by obeying Him.
Moses also said:
Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers. Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. (Deuteronomy 8:1-5)
During the 40 years in the desert, God was humbling the Israelites and teaching them that they didn’t just live on bread, but on every word of His. They were to love and cherish and depend on His words. Regardless of how you got to where you are today–God desires to teach you that you cannot live apart from knowing and believing His word.
Are you ready for a change?
We can answer that question with a few other questions…
Are you growing in your love for God? Is your desire to obey Him and walk in His ways increasing?
Do you find yourself talking more about God’s word with others? Are you sharing what you’re learning?
Are you realizing that His word is life to you and that it can be trusted even when your feelings and circumstances aren’t making sense?
Are you only seeking relief from your circumstances or are you seeking God? (If you’re only seeking relief, then it will be easy to forget God once “you eat and are satisfied.”)
A new land, a change of scenery, a better life, relief from present pain and difficulties in the desert–they may be right around the corner.
Robyn, my wife, and I were driving home from Texas a couple days ago and encountered a lot of road construction. Orange road signs signaled there was work being done ahead, the speed limit changed and cars came to a complete stop. It was annoying and added about an hour to our trip.
When I’m reading the Bible, I love to pay particular attention to conjunctions. They’re a lot like road construction signs. It’s as if conjunctions are saying, “Hey! There’s something happening here, so slow down! Stay alert!”
In the first ten chapters of 1 Kings, we get a look at how abundantly God has blessed King Solomon with both wisdom and material wealth. There was no one on earth as wise or as wealthy as Solomon. He had everything he could have ever wanted. But when we get to 1 Kings 11:1-6, we encounter some conjunctions that should force us to slow down and take a more careful look:
King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molechthe detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.
God had instructed Israel to not intermarry with foreign women. He warned them that their hearts would be turned to foreign gods. Solomon didn’t listen though. Not only did he marry foreign women–he married 700 of them. He also had another 300 concubines, which were very much like wives…for a grand total of 1,000. I mean, Solomon REALLY didn’t listen.
He knew it was wrong, but did it anyway and as he grew older, his wives turned his heart away from the one true God.
Now think about this for a moment–Solomon’s father, David, was guilty of adultery and murder and yet God was still pleased with him. Why? Because David turned from his sin. His heart remained fully devoted to God. Solomon’s heart was not fully devoted. Solomon gave his heart to foreign gods and idols. David never did.
If we were reading the story of your life today–where would the conjunctions be?
“Jack had a great job, a wonderful wife and three great kids, however, he often stayed up late after everyone went to bed so he could look at pornography on his laptop.”
“Heather knew what God said about sex before marriage, nevertheless, she regularly slept with her boyfriend.”
“God greatly blessed Tom’s business, but Tom actually gave less money to his church than a single mom supporting two kids.”
“David and Jennifer live in a house they can barely afford, because they feel pressure to keep up their friends.”
Of course, conjunctions can also signal something positive is happening in our lives:
“Alex was willing to make sacrifices now, because he knew a much greater reward was coming.”
“Susan lost her job in the latest round of layoffs, but she knows God is faithful and will meet her needs.”
Conjunction junctions are often where our circumstances and the word of God meet. When life is painful or difficult or confusing–be alert! More than likely, you’re at conjunction junction.
Your circumstances are telling you one thing, BUT God’s word says another thing.
It doesn’t look like you’ll make it, HOWEVER, God is on your side.
Maybe you’ve really blown it. You failed big time. It’s possible to go on though, BECAUSE you are covered by the love and grace of God.
Are you at a conjunction junction? Choose to make it a good one. Choose to believe God, not your circumstances. Choose to be fully devoted to Christ and not allow your heart to be drawn toward idols.
Because we live in a physical realm with real needs, real problems and real issues–it’s easy to lose sight of the spiritual realm in which we also live. Of course, even saying “lose sight of” illustrates the point–it’s easy to lose sight of something we can’t even see.
We relate to this physical realm through our five senses. We see. We hear. We smell. We taste. We touch. And living in this realm requires material things like money, homes, cars, clothes and food. It’s all very real and tangible.
The spiritual realm is no less real though. It’s just unseen. And so we walk in it by faith–trusting that what God says is true, right and best. But that’s not easy when when our circumstances are difficult, confusing or painful.
One unseen truth I absolutely must come to grips with is this: God’s plan matters and mine doesn’t.
Now if my plan is in sync with God’s plan, then great. Often, that’s not the case though. My plan always includes comfort, pleasure and plenty of money. It never includes suffering or death.
Sometimes suffering or death is God’s plan though. And that’s when I’ve got to remind myself: God’s plan matters and mine doesn’t. If I don’t remember that when times get tough, I will find myself asking, “Where are You, Jesus? Don’t You see what’s happening here?”
Only I might not say it that nicely.
What got me thinking about this was a verse I read last night:
When Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, he returned to Galilee.
Returned to Galilee? Huh? Your cousin, the guy who prepared the way for You, the guy who baptized You is in prison and You leave? Try putting yourself in John’s position for a minute. Forget the fact that he was “John the Baptist” who preached in the desert and ate locusts. John was just an ordinary guy who didn’t want to be locked up.
Why didn’t Jesus go to Jerusalem and get him out of prison? Why didn’t He at least ask the Father to do something?
Why did He just go back to Galilee without doing anything to set John free from an unjust imprisonment?
Because it was not God’s will.
John had performed the ministry to which he’d been called. He had fulfilled his purpose in God’s plan. And now Jesus was fulfilling the ministry to which He’d been called, which, by the way, would also involve suffering and death.
Honestly, I wish it was different. I wish troubles and suffering and death weren’t a part of this life. I wish life could always be enjoyable and pleasant. I wish it could be like it was in the Garden of Eden before Adam and Eve rebelled.
But wishing doesn’t change this reality: God’s plan matters and mine doesn’t.
Do you ever feel like God isn’t seeing things correctly? Like you have to explain things to Him?
It’s two weeks before Christmas. Money is tight. Then an unexpected bill arrives in the mail or the car breaks down. You can see this wasn’t a good time, that there isn’t enough in the checking account. So why can’t God see that?
Your dad is a good man who serves others and loves the Lord, but he’s diagnosed with cancer. He’s got three months. Maybe six with chemo. And yet a lot of bad, selfish people live a lot longer than him. Do we have to explain everything to God? Doesn’t He see that’s not right?
You’re believing God for a baby. You’ve been trying for several years to get pregnant. Then you hear about the 16-year-old down the street who just had an abortion. Um, God? Are you seeing this?
You’ve identified a problem at work. The solution is clear. To everyone. But your boss vetoes the idea. Or maybe he implements it, takes credit and gets promoted. Now God, were You not in any of the meetings when I presented my plan? Everyone else knew it was my idea. How did You not know?
“Why, O LORD, do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1)
“How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1)
“You are God my stronghold. Why have You rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” (Psalm 43:2)
You and I aren’t the only ones with questions, are we?
No, the Bible is full of real people, with real problems and real questions. People just like us.
Fortunately, the Bible also has real answers. Not always easy or simple ones. Not always ones we’ll even like. But real answers from a real God.
And that’s where it all must begin. And end, really. With God. The one true, real God. The one who has no beginning. The one who spoke everything into existence from nothing. The one who has always desired friendship with us. The one who says:
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
“From eternity to eternity, I am God. No one can oppose what I do.” (Isaiah 43:13, The Living Bible)
I know there’s something in your life today that doesn’t make sense. Your finances. A relationship. Your health. An unfulfilled longing. And it feels like God just doesn’t get it.
I’m right there with you.
If you’re like me, you’ve tried analyzing your situation until you’ve seen it from every possible angle. You’ve mentally rehearsed the conversation and presented the undeniable facts. You’ve laid out all the evidence for God so He can see what you so clearly see. And you’ve probably lost sleep over it. But nothing changes. And so you’re left to wonder why in the world God won’t do something.
Maybe after we’ve tried all that, all the stuff that never works and only makes us feel worse, maybe it’s time to try something else…
Be still.
Stop explaining. Stop complaining. Stop analyzing. And stop strategizing.
And just be still.
Give your mind a rest. Let your heart experience His calm.
Know that He is God.
He sees you. He does. He understands your situation.
And He wants you to know Him, so you can trust Him. So you can start to see things more like He sees them.
He will be exalted. Not you. Not me.
This is His world. He made it for Himself. “All things were created by Him and for Him.” (Colossians 1:16)
From eternity to eternity, He is God. No one and no thing can oppose Him.
You and I have a choice. We can be frustrated, even angry with God for not seeing things our way or we can be still long enough to know, to really know that He is God, He is good and He can be trusted.
Maybe we need to simply remember this: if God isn’t worked up over my circumstances, then maybe I shouldn’t be either.
Most of us want to know God’s will. Not all of us, but most of us.
We want to know where to go to school, who to marry, where to live and what job to take (assuming we even have an option). We want wisdom to make the right decision. We want discernment to see factors we wouldn’t normally see. We want to know God’s mind. We want God to provide the information we need, when we need it, so that we can make the right choices in life.
What’s the alternative really? Use our own judgment or common sense? Just do the best we can in our own strength? I don’t know about you, but my judgment is pretty poor compared to God’s.
Wanting to know God’s will and actually knowing it are very different though. You can greatly desire to know it, but not ever discover it. You can miss God’s best for your life when you fail to understand how to find it.
When you’re in college, you don’t enroll in upper level classes until you’ve first completed the prerequisites. Macro Econ 101 comes before 201 and 301.
When you want to know God’s will, you need to first understand “God’s Will 101.” If you don’t, you will only be confused, frustrated and angry–just like being in a senior level course as a freshman.
In Romans 12:1-2, Paul says:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
After discussing who we are, our sinful condition before God and what He has done to rescue us (Romans 1-11), Paul goes on in chapter 12 to talk about how we should then live. And he begins by urging his readers to offer their bodies as living sacrifices to God, to fully surrender themselves to Him.
Paul tells them this is the their “spiritual act of worship.” That word “spiritual” actually means “logical” or “reasonable.” In other words, based on what God has done for us, the logical thing to do is to fully give ourselves to Him, to no longer live for ourselves but for Him.
We are to no longer live according to the pattern this world gives us, but we are to be transformed into the people God has created us to be as our minds are renewed. We will never become all God desires for us to be if we don’t learn to think differently, to think like He does about ourselves, about life and about Him.
Paul said it this way in Ephesians 4:17-19
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
As followers of Christ, we’re to no longer live like those who don’t even know Him. Those who don’t know Christ live in the futility of their thinking. Their understanding is darkened. They are separated from the life of God because of the ignorance in them. They don’t know God or His will or His ways.
As long as we continue to live life on our own terms, we will experience limited understanding of God and His will. Most of us don’t get that though. We want to do what we want, but also know God’s will when we have a major decision to make or we find ourselves in a jam.
That’s not how it works though.
There’s a very important word in the Romans passage we looked at. Here it is again with the word in bold:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
First, we fully surrender to God. We give Him total, complete control of our lives. (It is the logical, reasonable thing to do.) We dig into God’s word, so that we begin to think like He does. That results in our transformation as we begin making decisions according to His pattern, not the world’s. That’s “God’s Will 101.” There’s no moving on until we complete those prerequisites.
Only then will we begin to understand and experience His good, pleasing and perfect will.
If you want to know God’s will apart from surrender, apart from a renewed mind, apart from being transformed into His likeness, if you really only want to know God’s will when your back is against the wall…then you really don’t want to know it.
A lot has changed since I was a kid growing up in New Jersey…
We didn’t have cable TV. Instead, we had a box that sat on the floor next to the television which we used to control the antenna on the roof. We could point it at Philadelphia or New York City and get channels from either city. All together, we got about a dozen channels.
We didn’t own a microwave oven. I don’t think anyone did.
If we wanted to watch a movie, we either went to a theater or waited for one to be shown on TV. VCR’s hadn’t even been invented.
We made phone calls from a phone that hung on the wall in the kitchen. I had no idea what the * and # keys were for.
If we wanted to play video games, we went to an arcade at the boardwalk and spent a quarter.
To write a paper for school, I used the Collier’s encyclopedias we had. No one would say “Google” for another two decades.
Yes, a lot has changed. And a lot has changed since the Bible was written. But there’s even more that hasn’t changed. The big stuff. The important stuff.
God hasn’t changed.
His commands haven’t changed.
His ways haven’t changed.
His purposes haven’t changed.
So if we want to know how to really live life, we need to go back to what God has revealed in His word. Today and tomorrow, we’ll look at a few guys who lived 2600 years ago and the life lessons they can teach us.
King Nebuchadnezzar learns this the hard way. The really hard way, which we’ll see more tomorrow.
In chapter 3, we see him setting up a 9-foot wide, 90-foot tall idol of gold. Think “9-story building.” This thing was huge.
He then gives the order that whenever the music plays, everyone is to fall down and worship the gold image. “Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.”
It’s easy to think that pride isn’t so bad and idol worship only applies to people who worshiped things made from gold, stone or wood. But the essence of pride is living life on my own terms and idol worship is anything we worship that isn’t God.
Don’t think of worship as just bowing down or singing praises. Idol worship comes in many forms.
What do you give the bulk of your attention to? Television? The internet? A relationship? Pornography? A hobby? Sports? Your looks? Your job? Your phone?
See if this might help to identify any idols in your life. How would you complete the following sentence? “I don’t think I could live without __________________.”
Whatever you put in the blank may be an idol for you.
And pride may be an issue if you ever finding yourself thinking, “I know God says ___________, but I __________.”
The key word there is “but.” Remember, the essence of pride is living life on your own terms. It’s going your own way. In a sense, it’s acting like the god of your own life. Knowing what God requires, but doing what you want anyway is pride.
God isn’t interested in sharing his authority with us or our attention with idols. He wants us to submit to Him and walk away from our idols.
Life Lesson #2: The world is under the control of the evil one.
Have you noticed that it’s okay to believe just about whatever you want these days? Tolerance for other views and religions has somehow become the highest virtue. Is there anything worse today than being labeled as judgmental or narrow-minded?
And yet if you’re a Jew or a Christian, there’s very little tolerance for you. Think back through history–does the hatred we see for the Jews seem rational to you? Why was Hitler so intent on wiping them out? And today, there are any number of countries that would love to see the nation of Israel eliminated.
That’s nothing new.
After King Nebuchadnezzar builds the idol and commands people to bow down to it, it says, “At this time some astrologers came forward and denounced the Jews.”
1 John 5:19 says, “We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.”
This world system is under the control of Satan. That means that from the time you wake up in the morning until the time you go to bed at night, almost nothing will encourage you in your relationship with Christ. In fact, you will face a multitude of lies, deceptions, temptations and discouragements. They may come from media, government, advertising, teachers, friends and even family.
This does not mean there are not Christ-followers in politics, business or teaching. There are many godly men and women serving Christ in those arenas. Just understand that this world system is enemy territory. So don’t be surprised. Be prepared for it. This world system, under the control of the evil one, is intent on discouraging, destroying and yes, even killing Jews and Christians.
If you have any doubt, just watch the news.
Life Lesson #3: Just because God is able to do something, it doesn’t mean He will.
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are threatened with death if they don’t worship the idol, but here’s what they said to the king:
“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
These three young men had confidence that God could save them, but knew He might not. Being saved from death was not their primary concern. Honoring God was–even to the point of losing their lives.
Sometimes we face painful circumstances and believe God will save us from them because He is able. I’ve made this mistake many, many times and it has led to a lot of anger and discouragement.
If saving us from a painful trial is best for us and will bring God glory and accomplish His purposes, then He will deliver us from our circumstances. Sometimes though, taking us through the painful trial is what is best. And sometimes, people who trust God will die.
Do I understand it? No, not really.
Do I wish there was another way? Absolutely.
God did choose to save these young men from their trial. He doesn’t always do that though. I’ve lost both parents even though I prayed for their healing. I’ve endured unemployment and financial trials even though I pleaded with God to help me. I’ve asked God for help and healing that never seems to come.
More than understanding why God works the way He does, what I really need is to trust that God is always good, no matter what. Even if He doesn’t answer my prayer or come through like I’d hoped–He is still good, still loves me and can still be trusted.
Life Lesson #4: Nothing is ever too hard for God.
He is the God who can deliver us from the fiery furnace. This may seem like a contradiction to #3. I get that. I feel the tension. Don’t let that stop you from praying big, from praying for a miracle.
God wants us to trust Him and ask Him for things that only He can do.
Know this–today, you have everything God wants you to have. If there’s something you don’t have that you need, then God can provide it. Keep seeking and trusting Him. Maybe in the meantime there’s something He’s wanting to teach you about Himself or His ways. Maybe He wants to grow your faith. Maybe the timing isn’t right yet.
Focus on “Who?”, not “When?”, “Why?” or “How?” Some questions have no answers, at least not in this lifetime. Choose to focus on God and knowing Him better. Don’t let the unanswerable questions shipwreck your faith.
Life Lesson #5: People are impressed with God, not you and me.
After God saved them from the furnace, Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.”
Notice what the king says, “They trusted in Him…”
God responds to our faith and does things only He can do. When that happens, He is praised. He is believed in. He receives honor.
When we walk by sight and only attempt things that we can pull off, God doesn’t often show up. At least not in a way that makes anyone notice.
We can do things our way and get the results we can produce. Or we can do things God’s way, step out in faith, and experience Him do things only He can do.
King Nebuchadnezzar experienced God doing what only God could do, but like us, the king had a tendency to forget, which leads to another life lesson, which we’ll save until tomorrow.
Thirty years ago today, I turned 18. It’s really the only birthday I remember. Probably because it involved football.
My parents cooked breakfast at my house for the football team before we played Matawan (New Jersey) in an away game. The offense they ran was called the “single wing.” It looks a lot like the “wild cat” offense everyone is running today. I think we won by a score of 26 to 7.
At its core, the object of the game of football is this: the 11 men on offense try to move the ball across the goal line. If they do that, they get six points. The 11 men on defense try to stop them and ideally take the ball away from them. The offense has a goal and the defense opposes them as they try to achieve it.
That’s football. Simple, right?
Obviously, there’s a lot that goes into what I just described, especially the longer you play the game. I helped coach my son’s team a couple years ago when he was in 7th grade. The offensive game plan was pretty much “hand the ball to the biggest kid.” And for the most part, it worked.
Now my son is on the 9th grade team at Woodland Jr. High and there’s a lot more involved. There are more formations and plays. Blocking assignments are more complex. Players have to read and react to what the other team is trying to do. The mental part of the game is just as important now as the physical.
As he goes on to play in high school, things will only become more complex. And for the few who play college ball or go on to the NFL, well, it’s an entirely new level of complexity, speed, strength and skill.
And yet, the fundamental objective of the game is unchanged. The offense tries to reach the goal line while the defense opposes them. If you’re going to win, you’ve got to at least understand that part, right?
That’s football, but what about in life? What is the fundamental objective? What’s the goal? And who’s opposing me?
In my previous post, I concluded with Solomon’s words from Ecclesiastes 12:
Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. Let me say it a different way:
The fundamental objective of life is God. Period.
It’s not ME. And it’s not YOU.
It’s not work. It’s not pleasure. It’s not money. It’s not success. It’s not a happy marriage. It’s not a happy family.
Now there’s nothing wrong with any of those, but they aren’t the goal. It would be like saying the objective of football is to gain the most yards. You can gain the most yards and still lose the game.
The fundamental objective of life is God. It’s to know Him, love Him, honor Him and serve Him. It’s to live in such awe and respect of Him that we’re motivated to live life according to His ways.
I guess you could say that’s our offensive game plan. And when we execute that plan, it’s kind of like having God on our team. Actually, it would be more accurate to say we’re on His team, but you get the idea.
On the other hand, if we insist on living life according to our own game plan, then it’s kind of like God switches teams. James 4:6 says…
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Who are the proud?
Those who have their own game plan. Those who want to call their own plays. Those who think they know better than God.
When we live that way, God lines up to oppose us.
Why?
Because He designed this life and knows how it’s to be lived. Because He’s the point of it all. And because He loves us more than we can even comprehend. And He knows that if we continue on with our own game plan that the end result is a loss. Loss of life. Loss of love. Loss of peace. Loss of joy. Loss of reward. Loss of everything that really matters.
Want to know an easy way to determine whether you’re running your own plays or God’s?
If you often find yourself frustrated, angry or depressed–you’re running your own plays. When we have a goal and it gets blocked, that’s how we respond. If you are directing your own life (that’s pride), then God is faithfully opposing you for your own good.
Let me encourage you to call timeout and think about what you’re doing. You can have all the best players. You can have really great plays. You can have an exciting game plan. But you cannot win with God opposing you.
The next sentence in James says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God.”
That’s the only game plan you need.
When we live according to God’s plan, it doesn’t mean there are no obstacles or painful circumstances. You won’t find anyone in the Bible who walked with God and didn’t suffer. But when we sync up with God and His ways, we experience His power, His wisdom, His peace, His everything as we go through life. You will experience what it’s like to be lined up with God, not against Him.
Submit to God. Give up your own plans and your own ways. His game plan for your life is so much better than yours.
After a very frustrating season of my life a number of years ago, I finally surrendered to God with a prayer like this, “Lord, I give up. Do whatever you want with me.”
If you’re tired of having God lined up to oppose you, try that prayer and see what happens.
I fear snakes. I hate them. Occasionally, I’ll have a dream about them. It’s never good.
When you don’t know much about snakes, like I don’t, it’s probably a healthy thing to fear them. I couldn’t tell you if it’s a good snake to have around to eat mice or if it’s the most venomous one there is. And honestly, I’m not all that interested in learning. My philosophy is to whack it with a shovel and ask questions later.
Sometimes fear is a correct response. It can save our lives. You should fear driving drunk. You should fear a masked man with a gun. If you don’t understand electricity, like I don’t, you should fear messing around with exposed wires if the breaker isn’t turned off.
To me, those are healthy fears. What makes them healthy? It’s a correct understanding of the facts. It’s when my emotions are reacting to the truth.
There’s one ultimate healthy fear, which we’ll get to in a minute, but first let’s talk about our unhealthy fears. There are some powerful ones, which can lead to very unwelcome consequences.
Some of us fear others. By that, I mean we overly care about their opinions of us. We want their approval. We want them to like us. We want them to validate us.
Of course, we all want to be liked. Well, most of us do. If you truly don’t care what anyone thinks of you, then you’ve got a different problem. If you speak your mind at all times regardless of how it makes someone else feel, you’re probably what most of us would refer to as a jerk. Sorry if that offends you.
For the rest of us though, we do have some concern about what others think about us. The problem is that it can be taken to an unhealthy concern. And when it gets there, we live in fear. That fear usually leads us to not speak up, not rock the boat and not do anything that might lead to someone else’s disapproval of us.
Rather than living confidently in the power of Christ, we live in constant fear of not offending others or doing anything that would cause them to not like us.
The tragedy is that when we live this way, we really can’t enter into truly loving relationships. Love requires us to focus on what’s best for others. Love calls us to speak the truth to help others grow. When we’d rather be liked than love others, we’ll never risk speaking the truth.
Another fear many of us deal with is a fear of our circumstances. We fear financial difficulties. We fear what the doctor may tell us. We fear our children being exposed to people or information we don’t agree with. We fear meeting new people. We fear taking a test. We fear ________________. Go ahead and fill in the blank for you.
One of the things I’ve noticed is that most of what I fear never happens. When I was a sophomore in high school, I lived in fear leading up to an intra-squad football scrimmage. I was afraid I would have to play against seniors who were much bigger and better than me. I was so afraid and so worried, it gave me a migraine. I was fixated on some future potential problem, it produced fear, even dread, but then it never actually occurred.
Fear of circumstances can also be based on our current situation continuing. If you’re currently unemployed, you may fear that you’ll still be unemployed in six months. Or maybe you’ve been trying to get pregnant and fear you’ll still be without a child a year from now.
You cannot possibly know what God has planned for you in the future. His plans for you will always be good though. It’s never healthy or helpful to live in fear that our current circumstances will never change for the better.
Some of us fear failure. You have an idea for a new invention. You have the content for a great book. You’d like to quit your job and go back to school. You’ve always wanted to run a marathon or open a restaurant or speak to a group.
But because you fear failure, you do nothing.
You’re willing to give up on a dream so that you don’t have to risk the potential of things not turning out like you hope they will. Think about though. If you step out in faith, trusting God to help you–what’s the worst thing that could happen? Even if your idea doesn’t work out like you’d dreamed, the process may be the very thing that God uses to reveal Himself and His next steps for your life.
Doing nothing because you fear failure is far more costly than “failing.”
Some people fear punishment. If they mess up, they fear God is going to finally lose His patience and give them a good whack. He may take from them someone they love. He may give them cancer. He may take away a job. Ultimately, He may decide they just weren’t worthy of heaven. Each of those fears are based on an incorrect view of God’s love, grace, mercy and forgiveness.
If you dig just beneath the surface of each of these fears, you’ll find faulty beliefs. You don’t understand God’s character. Or you don’t understand God’s promises. Or you don’t understand God’s ways.
The only solution?
Fear.
Fear of God. That’s the one, ultimate, healthy fear.
Here’s how I would define the fear of God:
An understanding and awareness of God’s presence, power and rule that produces in me a sense of awe and respect that leads to obedience.
In the book of Ecclesiastes, after Solomon had tried everything he could to find pleasure and fulfillment in this life, he concluded with these words (Ecc. 12:13-14):
Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
What do you fear? Others? Circumstances? Failure? Punishment? Something else?
Those are unhealthy fears. They’re holding you back from being who God has called you to be and accomplishing what God has called you to do. Begin to dig beneath them. Root out the wrong beliefs that led to them. Begin to cultivate a healthy fear of God and invest time in His word, so that you can learn to obey Him. It’s the whole duty of man.
Last thing, try this little exercise to help you begin to fear God:
Set aside 20 minutes where you can be alone in a quiet place. If you can go outside at night and look up at the stars, even better. Now for 20 minutes, meditate (think hard about) on the following:
God has no beginning. There’s never been a time He was not in existence. He is unbelievably powerful and holy. He needs nothing. “All things were created by Him and for Him.” (Colossians 1:16) That means that you belong to Him and exist for His pleasure. How you live matters to Him and has consequences both now and forever. And according to the last verse of Ecclesiastes, He will one day ask you to give an account for your life.
Last week, I posted “45 Ways to Slowly Kill Your Marriage.” I had a request for how to strengthen a marriage, so here are my top 10 ways to quickly strengthen your marriage:
1. Meet your spouse’s needs. First, you need to know what they are. Become a student of your spouse to find out. Write down everything you learn. Then start meeting those needs.
Yes, it’s that simple. Easy? Not always. Simple? Yes.
If you’re trying to come up with some needs, here are a few to get things kick-started: conversation, alone time, words of encouragement, romance, a hug, quality time with you, help with the housework, sex, a weekend away, an extra hour of sleep, respect, a phone call “just because”, a massage, etc.
Keep in mind, you’re looking for your spouse’s needs, not your needs. Also, while you’re at it, discover some wants and meet those, too.
2. Be third. God first. Spouse second. You third.
I know you also have needs and wants that aren’t being met and you may be giving a lot more than your spouse, but choose to meet your spouse’s needs even if yours aren’t being met.
What’s the alternative? Pull back and wait until your spouse goes first?
How well do you think that’s going to work?
I know it won’t be easy, but you will reap what you sow. Be the bigger person and begin serving your spouse. See what God does.
3. Pray together. If this is a scary thought to you, then start small. Before you go to sleep tonight, hold hands and say, “Lord, thank you for my husband/wife.” If it’s not so scary, then take a few minutes to pray for each other.
4. Believe God. Difficulties are inevitable, so learning how to deal with them as a couple is critical. The most important thing you can do is focus your attention on God, not your circumstances. Your financial crisis, medical issue or rebellious child may seem overwhelming, but it’s not to God. He has a solution and He has peace for you. Read Hebrews 11:6.
Choose to trust Him and not give in to worry, fear and anxiety. Those negative emotions will only poison your marriage.
How do you begin believing God, not your circumstances? There’s no substitute for spending time reading the Bible. In it, God has revealed Himself, His purposes and His ways. As we discover who God is and how He works, our capacity to trust Him is enlarged. Difficult circumstances no longer seem insurmountable when seen through God’s eyes.
5. Be your best. About 18 months into marriage, Robyn and I attended a “Weekend to Remember” marriage conference. During that weekend, I realized what a poor job I was doing as her husband. I decided then to be the best husband I could be. That was in 1987. While I’m far from perfect, I’m much further along than had I never made that decision.
6. Give grace. Your spouse is going to blow it. A lot. What are you going to do then? Keep score? Hold a grudge? Punish? Where will that get you?
What if instead, you gave grace and forgiveness? The way God does to us. What if you chose to treat your spouse the way you want to be treated when you fail? Again, I know this isn’t easy, but that leads to the next point…
7. Be filled with the Holy Spirit.In Ephesians 5, Paul gives instructions to husbands and wives. It’s some heavy stuff. And in our own strength, it’s impossible stuff. So prior to giving those instructions, in verse 18, he said, “…be filled with the Holy Spirit.”
To be filled with the Holy Spirit means to be under his influence. In fact, Paul compares being drunk to being filled with the Spirit. When someone is drunk, they speak and act in a way that indicates they’re under the influence of alcohol. When we are under the influence of the Holy Spirit, we will speak and act like He desires.
How can you be filled with the Holy Spirit? Simply by surrendering control of your life to Him. You can be in control or He can. He’s not going to fight you for control. He’s going to wait for you to give it to Him. When you do, you will experience His wisdom and power in your life.
8. Get healthy. You can’t change your spouse, but you can change you. Commit to getting healthy both physically and emotionally. If you’re not eating right or exercising, then you won’t feel well. If you don’t feel well, you won’t have the energy to invest in your marriage. If you don’t know where to start, click here.
You also need to commit to good emotional health. If your leg is broken, you’ll have an extremely difficult time running a mile. It would be painfully obvious that what you need is a doctor to set your leg in a cast, so you can heal.
The problem with our emotional health is the broken things are less obvious. The consequences are no less serious though. If you’re walking around with unresolved issues from your childhood, hurt and resentment from a previous marriage, a bad experience in a legalistic church or some other emotionally traumatic event, then you do not have the emotional health required for a successful marriage. You just don’t. So get help.
How do you know if you need help?
If you often feel angry, anxious or depressed–you need help.
If you need _______________ to feel good, relieve stress, unwind or shake off a bad day–you need help. Put whatever you want in the blank: food, alcohol, drugs, pornography, shopping, sex, gambling, chocolate, etc.
If you often feel guilty or ashamed–you need help.
If you are verbally abusive to your spouse–you need help.
If you’ve ever hit your spouse (or been hit)–you need help.
If you’ve lost any hope of your situation getting better–you need help.
Find a Christian counselor and make an appointment. Do it today. You’ll be stuck until you do.
9. Be playful. Sure marriage takes some work, but it doesn’t have to be all work. Lighten up a little. Have fun with each other. Take a walk. Take dancing lessons. Take a shower (together). Go on a bike ride. Cook together. Send each other suggestive text messages. Go to a dollar store and buy each other five gifts. Exchange them over coffee and dessert. Play a game. Put the kids to bed early, order Chinese food and watch a funny movie.
Just enjoy each other and laugh together. Like when you were dating.
10. Get away. If you can afford it, spend a couple nights in a bed and breakfast or hotel. Don’t take any work. Leave the laptop at home. Turn off your phones. Focus on each other. Eat some good meals. Take walks. Talk about your dreams. Consider attending a “Weekend to Remember” for your weekend away.
Getting away from the normal routine of life will do wonders for your marriage. If you can’t remember the last time you got away, then schedule something now.
Obviously, these all work better and more quickly if you both commit to do them, but don’t wait for your spouse. (Read #2 again.) Do what you know to do. Start right now. Trust God with the results.
Okay, here’s a bonus one:
11. Be your spouse’s biggest fan. While you’re studying your spouse looking for needs, also be on the lookout for strengths. What is your spouse good at? What do they enjoy doing? What are they passionate about? What gets them excited?
Once you have those answers, encourage them to pursue those activities, ideas or dreams. Cheer them on. Help them. Help find the resources to make it happen. Do whatever you can to help the vision become reality.
Each story is about a character (or characters) who must overcome great obstacles to complete a mission or reach an objective. They must face their fears and persevere through conflict and difficulties. In the process, they grow and change and get stronger and better.
So what’s your story? Everyone has one. What’s yours?
Would it be worth reading?
Would it be worth telling?
What transcendent cause are you living for?
Are you feeding the hungry? Raising money to provide clean water for a village in Peru? Giving away as much money as you can to support missionaries in southwest Asia? Raising children willing to take risks to spread the good news of Jesus Christ? Starting a ministry where none existed before?
What obstacles are you overcoming? Criticism from your family and friends? A serious medical issue? Your own feelings of inadequacy? Fear of failure? Lack of resources? A difficult relationship?
Who’s in the battle with you? Your spouse? Your children? Some close friends?
Who are you depending on for success? Are you out on a limb with no hope of succeeding if God doesn’t come through? Are you attempting something so great that only God can get the credit when it happens?
Or are you playing it safe, giving in to fear? Too concerned with the opinions of others. Placing personal comfort and security above all else.
Are you growing stronger? Are you a better person for having faced your fears and overcome obstacles? Are you in the process of overcoming them now?
By the way, this isn’t just for those who have graduated from college or have established careers. I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what your circumstances are. You can start living a better story today. Right now, if you want.
Maybe the reason we spend so much time and money on the distractions of television, the internet, shopping and hobbies is because our stories stink. Our own lives are boring us to death.
Tomorrow is a blank page. What are you going to write for yourself?
Gregg Stutts - Executive Pastor of The Church at Arkansas in Fayetteville. Husband to Robyn and father to Rachel, Erica, Amy and Rob. On a continuing journey of believing God.
Gregg Stutts - Executive Pastor of The Church at Arkansas in Fayetteville. Husband to Robyn and father to Rachel, Erica, Amy and Rob. On a continuing journey of believing God.
